


Somewhere in a Somersault

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-16
Updated: 2007-04-10
Packaged: 2019-01-19 15:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: A thousand dizzying moments combine to form a single picture of clarity. Somewhere in those thousand moments, you may just find yourself.





	1. Prologue: Somewhere in a Somersault

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**\- Prologue: Somewhere In A Somersault -**

People are people through other people; we constantly seek confirmation of our own existence by how we relate to others  
BRYCE COURTENAY

&&&

There comes a time in life when you stop and ask yourself, _what the hell am I doing?_

It can happen in the most unfortunate places under the most bizarre circumstances.  Perhaps you were at the grocery store making a difficult decision (spinach or sprouts?).  Perhaps you were hurrying to work and in your haste, walked into the wrong office.  Maybe you were getting ready for school, knotting your tie and lacing your shoes only to realise it was the weekend.  Train stations and bus terminals the world over play host to these soul-searching sessions, as did lamp-lit streets, country pubs and public libraries.  Beaches, town parks and sprawling fields weren’t exempt either.  The point is, you could be anywhere and then it strikes.

The great question of _why_.

You’d be hard pressed to find someone who, at the end of their life, could honestly tell you that they never doubted themselves for one second; they never questioned what their purpose was and if they were doing the ‘right’ thing — whatever that may be.  People who never wonder why they were given a shot at life are either arrogant to the stresses of mere mortals or are extremely forgetful; _did you ever stop and just ask yourself?  Ask myself what?  Why you’re here, why you’re living.  Oh, that — mate, I honestly can’t remember … maybe I did._

This thought may be fleeting.  It may only rear its ugly head once every blue moon to plant the seed of doubt — but what if a forest had eventuated from that single, seemingly insignificant seed?  Psychiatrists would classify these people as being fearful for their own wellbeing.  If that’s the case, then Lily Evans was a prime candidate for paranoia and should have had her head read the moment she received her first Hogwarts letter.

From that one letter, followed by several more letters — each increasing in their insistence for Lily’s enrolment — the Great Question often popped in to her head, causing her thoughts to run around in crazy circles like a dog after its tail.  Fuel was added to the fire whenever she remembered her family’s reactions to the news of Hogwarts.

Mr Evans had become somewhat reclusive, preferring not to give his opinion until he’d received a response from Professor McGonagall.  _We just don’t have enough to go on, Joy.  I don’t care if the bloody Queen thinks this is a good idea — my daughter isn’t going anywhere until we know what’s going on!  Petunia’s right — this could all be a joke!  I don’t know who would do it, but_ someone _could.  Not everyone is sold on your dogma._

Mrs Evans, quite typically, had acted in sharp contrast to her husband.  While Mr Evans had remained sceptical, Mrs Evans was willing to believe that Hogwarts existed and that Professor McGonagall was Lily’s Fairy Godmother.  _Imagine the life Lily will lead!  She’ll see so many wonderful things — she could do something extraordinary with her life!  If only Petunia had the same opportunity.  Of course, don’t be silly — who wouldn’t want to go?  I wish I could.  No, Robert, I don’t think I’m getting Lily’s hopes up.  Don’t be ridiculous, it has nothing to do with my ‘dogma’, whatever that means.  What about Petunia?  She’ll be fine, she’s just going through a stage, she’ll grow out of it._

Petunia believed that she wasn’t going through any sort of ‘stage’, and pretended that nothing had happened and that Hogwarts was but a tall story.  When Professor McGonagall answered Mr Evans’ letter and it became clear that Hogwarts did in fact exist, Petunia changed tactics and decided to milk the situation for all it was worth.  _Dad, I need some money.  I don’t care about pocket money — if Lily’s going to get all that spent on some stick of bloody wood then I should get some too.  Not a wand, money!  ‘Bloody’ isn’t a swear word, and I’m fourteen — I can swear if I want.  On clothes and stuff, you know.  I can’t go out looking like this — it’s embarrassing!  What would you know, Mum?  You walk around in a shower curtain.  I swear I’ll never forget this; I hate you Lily!_

Petunia’s words forever lingered in the back of Lily’s mind; just when she thought she’d forgotten them, something would happen to bring the memory roaring back to life.  She had been scarred, and while scars may heal, they don’t disappear.  More conversations of the sort ensued, but Lily refused to believe Petunia — she was wrong; there wasn’t anything wrong with being a witch!  She wasn’t evil, she wasn’t the Wicked Witch of the West — she was more like the Good Witch of the North, all glittery and golden.  

Sometimes Lily wondered what her life would have been like had she turned down her place at Hogwarts.  The term ‘Muggle’ would have been gobbledegook to her, not the language spoken by goblins.  She would have gone to the same school as Petunia; she would have learnt the same lessons with the same teachers.  She would have made friends with entirely different people.  Would Petunia have liked her then?  She liked to think so, but, as it was, she hadn’t turned down Hogwarts’ offer.  She’d boarded the Hogwarts Express from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters and entered a world her mother could only dream of.

Her first letter home had been stored away in a special place by Mrs Evans, only to be brought out when Mother Hen felt her nest deserted.  The childish innocence and enthusiasm seeped into Mrs Evans and gave her a burst of energy — it was impossible not to be drawn into Lily’s world of flying carpets and magical merry-go-rounds, where teachers were cats and portraits talked back.  

Lily loved her new home, but she was still plagued by the Great Question.  She didn’t know what to think of her life — on one hand, she was successful in her studies and well on the way to being an accomplished witch; on the other hand, she was a Muggle-born, born into a different world and, therefore, a foreigner, an intruder.  

She thought that maybe she was just between the two worlds — not yet ready for one but too far removed from the other to rejoin it.  Sometimes she felt as though a great war was raging in her — her family or her friends, her old life or the life she’d fashioned for herself.  One or the other; she couldn’t have both.  Trying to do so only served to confuse her more.  

Her friends knew of her paranoia and the uncertainty it created in general.  Some thought it was an overreaction; some even sympathised, but most didn’t understand.  _Don’t you think this whole ‘meaning of life, who am I?’ thing’s a bit dramatic?  I mean we probably all do it, but with her it’s like she only remembers it every now and then anyway.  She can’t be that worried about it, I reckon.  Oh, trust you to sympathise, Stella.  No, of course you’re not sympathising, you’re just defending her insanity.  Don’t ‘but Mandy’ me, Yanie — you don’t understand it either.  Well if you’re so well informed on what caused it, why don’t you fill us in, Anna?  C’mon — you’re the best friend.  We’re all interested now.  I don’t care — start at the beginning, go back to conception if you must.  I was joking, don’t flip out.  We just want to know what the big deal is.  Right then, this should be interesting._

&&&

All comments welcomed. :)  
 _Satirise_


	2. Decidely Indecisive

**The Luck of the Irish**

_There are perhaps ten families living in Invernay, and, working on the front desk at Invernay House, I think it’s fair to say that I know every one of those ten families.  I’ve seen them at their best and at their worst, and I feel like I’m a part of them.  I’ve seen family feuds, the tears, the break ups, reunions, births, deaths, injuries — I’ve seen it all.  We haven’t had much activity at the House of late, though — people are beginning to take better care of themselves, and while it’s good they don’t need to see the doctor anymore, it gets a little boring at reception.  Twenty years ago, this place was a hive of activity — we were in the midst of a baby boom, you know.  Each newborn was as precious as the last, but one particular birth was memorable._

 

_On the night of March 16, 1960, the Evans family came rushing in, all huddled around one person.  Mr Evans came towards me, his arm draped supportively around his wife, and calmly explained to me that Mrs Evans was in labour and that her contractions were two minutes apart.  I was incredibly excited — she was pregnant with her second child and almost a month overdue.  The whole town was just waiting for her to give birth; down at the pub, they’d set up a calendar and we were putting bets on when the little one would come.  I had my money on the 17th March — I thought it was fitting since the Evans family was Irish._

 

_Once we’d rugged Mrs Evans up and sent her to the delivery room, I took Mrs Evans’ parents and little Petunia through to the tearoom.  Sharing a pot of tea and a plate of shortbread, we chatted about who was going to win the pot of money down at the pub.  There was almost seventy pounds in the kitty, and it was growing each day.  We had to speak in code about how much we’d bet, because apparently, little Petunia wasn’t impressed about the impending birth.  Mrs Appleton explained that the green-eyed monster had attacked early, but she still let us know that she’d put her money on the twentieth.  Mr Evans, the expectant father, had placed five pounds on the tenth, and had missed his chance, but Mr Appleton was bouncing in his seat — he’d bet ten pounds on March 16, that very day._

 

_I told them, knowing my British luck, I’d lose by one day and they’d win all the money.  Mr Appleton laughed and promised that he’d buy me a bottle of my favourite red if he won, and so I promised that if I won, I’d buy him a bottle of Guinness.  We shook on it just as the door opened and the nurse stepped in.  She was grinning from ear to ear as she told us that Mrs Evans had just given birth to a five pound, fourteen ounce baby girl with flaming red hair, just like her dad.  Mother and father were over the moon, she reported._

 

_We all looked at the clock.  I groaned as Mr Appleton leapt from his seat, punching the air.  It was_ _11.37 pm_ _on March 16.  As Mr Appleton led his wife in a celebratory spin, I ripped my seventeenth ticket and cursed the luck of the Irish._

 

****

\- Chapter One: Decidedly Indecisive -

****

**  
**

The very first step towards success in any occupation is to become interested in it.  
SIR WILLIAM OSLER

[Matchbox 20, ‘Real World’]

**Indecisive:** _adj._ not leading to a clear decision or result.  
 **Contradiction:** _n._ to assert the opposite of (something); deny.  
 **Lily Evans:** an indecisive, walking contradiction.

As a rule of thumb, many teenagers are unsure of their lives while still at school.  They may have an idea on what they want to do once the dreaded years of study are over, but nothing is one hundred per cent certain.  On Monday, you might want to be an Obliviator, Wednesday a Hippogriff breeder, and Friday a Curse-Breaker — dream jobs changed as frequently as many fourth years changed their boyfriends.  Lily Evans knew this, so she wasn’t particularly worried about it.  Dreams mean nothing without ambition, and ambition means nothing without drive, she kept telling herself.  But what are you to do when you’re fifteen years old, sitting in front of Professor McGonagall, looking through her colourful career pamphlets? 

‘I don’t know if I could be a Healer — I don’t think I’m smart enough for that; I didn’t do Care of Magical Creatures, so a Carer’s out as well,’ Lily muttered, flicking through the pages in front of her.

‘Is there a particular field you’re interested in, Miss Evans?’ Professor McGonagall asked.  ‘Or perhaps a field you _aren’t_?’

Lily could tell Professor McGonagall was getting impatient.  They’d been sitting there for almost twenty minutes, but no progress had been made.  Lily was still trying to decide if her uneasiness towards physical violence would hinder her performance as an Auror.

‘Do you think I could be an Advocate, Professor?’ Lily finally asked, having spied a formal looking pamphlet.  Professor McGonagall jumped at the topic.

‘Wizard Law is most definitely a broad area, and caters for many interests.  Given your current marks, I’d say it is well within your reach.  I do warn, however, that there is a tremendous amount of study involved in becoming an Advocate,’ said Professor McGonagall.  She handed Lily another pamphlet, this one with photos of young witches and wizards on each page.  They were nodding at what Professor McGonagall was saying, and murmuring about confidence-crushing exams and classes that ate your social life.  ‘The marks you receive on your OWLs are very important.  I can’t stress that enough — nothing less than “Exceeds Expectations”� on at least four OWLs.  NEWTs are harder still — the Board doesn’t accept anything other than “Exceeds Expectations”� on _all_ subjects.  It will require constant effort and many sacrifices on your part.  You will have to study outside of Hogwarts for three years, then begin to work your way into the industry.  I must also tell you that most who enrol in the course drop out within the first year.  I advise you to think about this seriously, Miss Evans.’

Lily nodded dully.  Work, work and more work; she’d be twenty-one before she even stopped studying.  _Brilliant_ , she thought.  _I’ll probably fail before I even begin._   

‘What NEWT classes would I have to take?’

Professor McGonagall started to arrange the pamphlets in front of her into their neat little stacks once again.  ‘I’d recommend the core subjects you’re studying now — Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, History of Magic —’ at this, Lily tried not to groan.  A hint of a smile flickered at Professor McGonagall’s lips but she continued, ‘I’d also recommend keeping Defence Against the Dark Arts, and perhaps Herbology as an elective subject.  Some classes may not be directly related to Advocacy, but they may be valuable throughout your study.’

Lily left a few minutes later, several pamphlets in hand.  She had never really considered becoming an Advocate before, but after realising that nothing much else caught her interest throughout the entire meeting, Lily thought she might as well give it a shot.  And, as Professor McGonagall had pointed out, if she decided Advocacy wasn’t where she wanted to be, she had still studied the core subjects for most careers.

Lily made her way back to her dormitory, where she found her best friend looking through pamphlets on the window ledge.  ‘Someone’s got some reading to do,’ Lily said, noticing the stacks around Anna.

Anna didn’t look up as she replied, ‘I ended up taking one of everything and promised McGonagall I’d look them over.  She told me I may be interested in looking this one over.’  She gave a self-mocking snort and held up a bright orange piece of parchment.  It read, _‘Remember threatening your parents to join the circus?  Don’t threaten it any more — do it!  Join Harmison’s Hooligans, the only travelling magical circus in England!’_ Lily cringed, and Anna scrunched the parchment up and threw it out the window.  ‘Pathetic,’ she mumbled.

‘So your parents finally did it, then?’ Lily asked.

‘Sure looks that way, doesn’t it?’ Anna smirked.  

‘Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think my mother would join,’ said Lily, kicking off her shoes.  

‘Your mother is a bohemian, not a circus freak.  There’s a bit of a difference.’

‘Close enough.  But look at it this way: when you’re old and have fifty grandchildren, you’ll have an interesting story to tell them.’

Anna snorted again.  ‘Whatever.’  She turned to face Lily.  ‘What’ve you got there?’  

Lily held up her Advocacy pamphlets and shrugged.  ‘McGonagall thinks I should be an Advocate.’

‘I think you’d make a brilliant Advocate.’

‘Thanks.’

‘I don’t know anyone who can argue as well as you — or at least argues as much as you do.’

‘I don’t always argue!’

‘You’re arguing about whether or not you argue,’ said Anna, her attention now on a bright green pamphlet for the United Leprechauns League.  

Lily took this as the end of the discussion, and moved to sit beside Anna.  They made their way through Anna’s stack of pamphlets before dinner, throwing away all but three promising ones.  They’d laughed over the fact that such a position as Flobberworm Reproduction Enforcer existed, cringed at the thought of being a human guinea pig for the Ministry of Magic’s Experimental Spells Department, and shuddered when they learnt that Azkaban needed Dementor Monitors.

 

_Advocacy it is_ , Lily thought, and spent the rest of the week researching it in the library.  As it transpired, Professor Thornton, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, had studied Advocacy before coming to Hogwarts, and suggested many books for Lily to read.  Lily wasn’t sure whether to be grateful towards Professor Thornton, or throw his recommendations at his head — the more she read, the more she began to worry that she wasn’t smart enough to go through with it.

‘Then you try harder, you study more,’ Salvador Colm, another of her closest friends, told her.  ‘If you want this, you’re going to have to work for it.  The guy on top of the mountain didn’t fall there, you know.’

‘I know, I know,’ Lily had replied, and booked out _Objection!  Facts and Fiction for Contemporary Advocacy._

‘Don’t tell me you’re reading another bloody one,’ Anna asked from across the dormitory.  ‘I thought you were taking a break.’

It was a typically cool Friday night during February, and instead of participating in the impromptu Gobstones Tournament downstairs, Lily and Anna had retired to the dormitory early.

‘I _am_ taking a break — I’m reading a book,’ Lily answered.  She was sitting on the window ledge beside her bed, using the candles and the moonlight to light up the pages before her.  

‘You read too much,’ said Anna.

‘You write too much,’ returned Lily, turning the page.

‘Don’t know why you’re reading that, anyway,’ muttered Anna, using her quill to jab in the general direction of Lily.  ‘It’s boring, a cure for insomnia.’

Lily flicked the cover of her book shut.  The sight of four girls gathered around a high-backed chair seating an older looking lady greeted her.  _Little Women_ was one of her favourite books — she read it at least once a year, usually over the summer holidays.  ‘For someone who loves literature so much, you give it a good bashing, you know.’

‘I like good literature, not a rehash of someone’s life with religious preachings all the way through it,’ said Anna.  ‘If I ever write something, it’s going to have _meaning_.’

‘There’s meaning to this book.  You just can’t see it because you don’t understand Muggle religion.  There’s more to it than that anyway.  I like it.’

‘I know you like it — you’re in love with Laurie.’

‘And you’re in love with Mr Darcy, so who’s worse?’ Lily retorted.

‘You’re both as mad as each other,’ said a new addition to the conversation.  It was Stella Gatewood, a fellow fifth year girl who shared their dormitory.  She stood at the top of the stairs and looked from Lily to Anna, regarding them with a small smile on her face.  ‘But if I had to choose one of you, I’d say Lily is worse.’ 

‘Oh yeah?  And why’s that?’ Lily asked.  She wasn’t sure if she should be offended or not.

‘There are a few reasons,’ Stella replied.  ‘One, Darcy’s a man and Laurie is a boy.  Two, Darcy’s a lot richer than Laurie is.  And three, old Darcy’s probably better looking.’

‘What’s your point?’ said Lily.

‘Her point is,’ said Anna, a sarcastic smile twitching at her lips, ‘that you’re a nutcase, and I’m not.’

Stella laughed, soft and gentle, as she made her way through the tangle of clothes on the floor to her bed.  ‘I wouldn’t go that far.  I’m just saying that you both fall for the wrong guy, is all.’  Stella looked at the robes, jumpers and several pairs of jeans on the floor and frowned.  ‘That’s all Mandy’s, isn’t it?’

Lily shrugged, and said, ‘Some of it might be Yanie’s, but it’s not mine.  I couldn’t fit half of that in my trunk.’

‘No, it was full of rubbish Muggle books instead.  And what do you mean by “we fall for the wrong guy”�?’ Anna added, turning to Stella.

Stella kicked at a pair of woolly tracksuit pants and wrinkled her nose.  ‘Nothing really, just that personality-wise … well, you know.  I’m not going to pick any of this up.  She made this mess, so she can clean it up herself.’

Stella picked up her pyjamas and walked out the dormitory, muttering about a shower and expressing some vague hope that Mandy would have picked up her clothes before she got back.

‘I doubt it,’ Lily said, opening the book again.  Amy March was drowning in an icy pond and needed Lily’s attention.

‘She’s a little strange, that girl,’ Anna said, as Stella’s head bobbed out of sight.

‘No more than the rest of us,’ said Lily. 

‘Hmm, true,’ said Anna, abstractedly.  She plucked her quill out from behind her ear and rolled it between her fingers, watching as the ink flew from the tip and landed on the parchment.

‘Still working on that Potions essay?’ Lily asked.

Anna grunted.  ‘That’s a weekend job.  Genius just wandered in.’

Lily smiled, and returned to her book.  ‘Genius’ was the term everyone used to describe Anna when she went into writing mode, having received inspiration for a new story.  The quill would fly, the words would flow, and the parchment would disappear under scribbles and crosses of dark blue ink.  It was common knowledge that Anna Harmison wanted to be a writer when she left Hogwarts.

Lily’s smile turned into a frown as she let that thought go deeper in to her mind.  How was it that everyone around her seemed to have some idea on what they wanted to do with their lives, but she didn’t?  The thought of Advocacy came about because nothing better had jumped out at her, not because it was something she’d wanted to do her whole life.  Anna had always wanted to be a writer.  Stella wanted to be a Healer, or at least a Medi-Witch.  Yanie Hinchinbrook, another girl in Lily’s dormitory, wanted to take over Madam Malkin’s Robes For All Occasions from her aunty.  Mandy Lynden didn’t care what she did, so long as she was popular and admired for it.

But Lily had nothing.  Her dreams were full of fantasy, void of reality.  She had no ambition, no drive — she just existed, floating through life as though waiting for her future to fall into her lap.

_That’s no way to live_ , she thought, trying to block out the scratching sound of Anna’s quill.  _What’s the point in me doing something if I don’t even know it’s what I want?_

‘I’m going to check out what’s going on downstairs,’ said Lily, closing her book and throwing it on her bed.  ‘Take a break, get some air…you know.’

‘Yeah, OK.’  Anna had stopped writing, and was looking over her shoulder at Lily.  She frowned, ‘You all right?’

‘I’m fine, just stressing a bit, probably.  Don’t wait up.’

Lily closed the dormitory door behind her.  _How pathetic can I get?  Talk about a melodrama meltdown,_ she thought, clomping down the stairs into the common room.  She looked around and found that the Gobstones Tournament was still in full swing, with James Potter and Sirius Black facing off against each other, shouting raucously as they played up for the crowd surrounding them _._

‘Prepare to meet thine end, thy scurvy dog!’ James shouted dramatically.

‘Nay, for it is thee who shall welcome defeat! Now, raise your weapon, you scoundrel, and duel!’ Sirius returned, earning an appreciative cheer from the spectators.

Lily paused, wondering whether she should stop the duel before anyone got hurt, but she noticed her fellow prefect, Remus Lupin, sitting close by and thought better of it.  If it got out of hand, she reasoned that Remus would be more than capable to take care of it.

Ignoring the boisterous crowd, she looked around and finally spotted Salvador in the corner by the fireplace.  He wasn’t paying much attention to the show in the middle of the room; rather, he had his back to the action as he spoke heatedly with someone.  Lily realised that he was talking to Nate Biggenden, Anna’s boyfriend.  

 

_He’d better not be up to his old tricks,_ Lily thought, making her way towards the boys.  She stepped around Peter Pettigrew, who was hopping madly from foot to foot, unable to contain his excitement over the medieval battle between his friends, and stopped just behind the boys.  She smiled and cocked her head to the side when Nate noticed her, but Salvador kept firing away.

‘Hey there, Lily,’ Nate finally said, acknowledging Lily with a nod of the head.  ‘What’s up?’

‘Nothing much,’ she answered, standing between the two of them.  ‘What’s going on here?  Secret boys’ business or can I know?’

‘It’s a crime to talk with one of your mates now, is it?’ Salvador asked mock-defensively.  ‘The Advocate is coming out in you already, woman.’

Lily narrowed her eyes; he was definitely up to something.  Narrowing her eyes at Salvador’s attack on her, wondering at his taking her accusation seriously, Lily knew he was definitely up to something.  She made an irritated noise in her throat and decided to play down the situation before she and Salvador had another fight in front of the common room.  ‘You know perfectly well I was only asking.  If I was really interested, I would’ve eavesdropped.’

Nate laughed and slapped Salvador on the shoulder.  ‘Good luck, mate.  I’m off.’  He didn’t wait for Salvador’s answer as he quickly took off to the other side of the common room.

‘He’s so whipped he won’t even listen to reason,’ said Salvador, so quietly Lily knew he was talking to himself and not her.  He seemed to remember that he wasn’t alone anymore, and turned to Lily.  ‘And what can I do for you this lovely night, hmm?’

Lily shrugged.  ‘I just needed to get out for a bit.  Thought I might go for a walk or something.’

‘Good, I’ll come with you then,’ said Salvador, grabbing Lily by the elbow and steering her out of the common room.  This wasn’t what Lily had in mind–she hadn’t meant to invite Salvador along.  

Truth be told, she would’ve rather stayed with Anna and suffer with her own tormented thoughts than spend any time with Salvador alone.  She didn’t know why, but lately, she was finding that she couldn’t really stand Salvador.  He was becoming more dominant, and they were fighting more often over things that, in hindsight, really weren’t that important.  She didn’t feel like this all the time, but it mainly happened when they were talking in private.

‘I saw you with those sixth years earlier on,’ said Lily, attempting to start a conversation.  ‘Anything you care to tell me?’

‘Not especially, they were just flexing their muscles,’ said Salvador, rubbing the back of his neck.  ‘Seeing if they had any sway over me.’

‘I take it they didn’t, then,’ said Lily.  ‘And that had to be the most original and eloquent brush off I’ve ever heard, too.  “I … er … don’t really know what’s going on yet.  I’ll have to…er…get back to you sometime later, yeah?”�’  Lily stopped imitating Salvador and rolled her eyes.  ‘The sad part, though, is that they _believed_ it!’

‘It just goes to show their level of intelligence then, doesn’t it?’ said Salvador.

‘You loved every minute of it,’ Lily said, her eyebrows raised mockingly as she smirked.  ‘You just can’t help yourself when you have pretty girls fawning over you, can you?’

‘Is your skin starting to match your eyes, or am I imagining it?’ Salvador asked.

‘You’re imagining it,’ Lily said, the smirk disappearing. ‘So what was it all about, anyway?  You seem to be attracting a lot of female attention lately.’

Salvador smirked and said, ‘“Female attention”�, is that what it’s called?’

‘Well, what else would you call it?’ Lily said bitterly. ‘It’s disgusting.’

‘Ease up a bit,’ Salvador chuckled. ‘People might think you were jealous.’

‘Jealous? My arse I’m jealous!’ she said darkly. ‘I just don’t like it when girls like boys because they’re Head Boy.’

Salvador snorted. ‘Well,  thanks. I knew there was a reason why I kept you around. Your friendly pep-talks do wonders for my self-esteem.’

‘Your self-esteem doesn’t need boosting — it’s healthy enough as it is,’ said Lily. ‘And come on, even you have to admit I’m right about these girls.  They didn’t even know your name last year!’

‘The house elves have slipped Love Potions into the pumpkin juice.  You can hardly blame them for not being able to keep their hands off me.’

Lily laughed. ‘You’re crazy, do you know that?’

‘Certifiably so, thank you, my lady,’ Salvador said, and bowed.

Lily rolled her eyes but couldn’t help from smiling.  This was something new, the ‘my lady’ endearment.  He was using it more frequently, but only when they were alone. She didn’t really know why he’d chosen that particular phrase, as she thought it to be incredibly old-fashioned, but she didn’t mind — it reminded her of Laurie and Amy, so she replied just as Amy did in the story.  ‘You’re more than welcome, my lord.’

Salvador seemed pleased with Lily’s reaction, and took her hand to place it in the crook of his arm. ‘Ah, to have admirers.  It’s rather flattering, you should try it sometime.’

‘Yes, well, let us just hope that the rise in female attention among the Hogwarts population won’t lead you to forget the meek and lowly ones you began with,’ said Lily, trying to imitate Her Majesty.

‘I shall never forget my favourite girl,’ said Salvador, quite seriously, putting his arm around Lily. ‘After all, who could forget Audrey Hepburn?’

Lily cried indignantly and elbowed Salvador in the ribs. ‘And here I was thinking that your heritage taught you to show respect for females!’

Salvador groaned and broke away from Lily, rubbing his side painfully. ‘Spanish heritage, my lady, does not mean I have to stroke your famished ego.’

‘Touché,’ Lily murmured. ‘That hurt.’

‘That was the intention,’ Salvador said and he winked, his pain forgotten.

‘You can be such a bastard sometimes, did you know that?’

‘Such wonderful language,’ Salvador admonished, clucking his tongue. ‘And you just called yourself a lady.’

‘No, I said I was a _female_ , there’s a difference.’

‘Just as well, then — I would have been searching high and low for days to find one around here!’

‘Go to hell.’

‘I’ll go straight away if it’ll please you,’ said Salvador mockingly.  

‘Yes, and pick me up a Sherbet Surprise on your way.’

Their moment of taking the mickey was over as Salvador artfully steered the conversation towards more serious topics, discussing their holidays and their classmates alternately.  It was bizarre how they could change topics and moods so quickly — many a time, Salvador had caught Lily out this way.  She was beginning to learn that she must keep her guard up around him; otherwise, she might just say something that she didn’t particularly want Salvador to know.  They were close friends, most definitely, but she also knew that he wouldn’t take too kindly to some of her opinions, and following their last argument — where they didn’t speak for close to two weeks — she was keen to avoid any volatile areas.

Salvador continued to ask Lily questions about her family, to which Lily didn’t quite know how to respond, resulting in their conversation becoming rather stifled.  Soon he became frustrated with her and Lily was annoyed with her lack of response.

‘Surely you have an opinion on your family?’

‘Well, yes I do, but it’s not exactly worthy of analysis,’ Lily said.  ‘They’re my family and I love them without question.  Simple as that.’  She didn’t particularly enjoy these conversations; this one was heading into one of those volatile areas.  Conversations of this sort often involved Salvador asking Lily to find problems in situations she, generally, wouldn’t have thought to be troublesome.  But she participated in them nonetheless — to keep up with Salvador’s seemingly cultured and mature take on society never failed to aggravate and fascinate her.  It made her feel more intelligent.

‘Does that include the dastardly Petunia?’

‘For my mother’s benefit, I would have to say, yes.’

‘You shouldn’t worry so much about what your family thinks,’ said Salvador.  ‘You and Petunia just don’t get on, and pretending to be the Brady Bunch for your mother seems pointless to me.’

‘It just so happened that I didn’t have to pretend anything,’ said Lily, alarm bells beginning to sound in her head.  They were heading for an argument if she didn’t change the subject.  ‘The last time I was home, she spent most of her time in London with my grandparents; I hardly spoke to her at all.’

‘Joy, hey?’

 

_Conversation successfully diverted–that deserves a pat on the back._

‘You love making fun of my mother’s name, don’t you?’ said Lily.

‘I’m not making fun of your mother,’ Salvador laughed. ‘I’m just ...’

Lily shook her head as Salvador’s voice trailed off — he was caught and he knew it.  Laughing, he shrugged his shoulders, and Lily said, ‘Yeah, I thought so. _“No, I don’t make fun of your mother’s name at all!”�_ ’

‘Intriguing as your conversation appears to be, Mr Colm, Miss Evans, it will have to end.  I believe curfew was fifteen minutes ago. Perhaps the Head Boy would like to explain why he and a school prefect are setting such a poor standard for the student body?’ There stood a tight-lipped Professor McGonagall in all her intimidating glory, her beady eyes staring down both Lily and Salvador.

‘I’m sorry,’ Lily apologised, ducking her head.  She wasn’t particularly sorry at all — rather, she was grateful that McGonagall had given her a reprieve from the conversation with Salvador. Her head was starting to hurt from having to run around in circles to satisfy him.

‘I am, too. It’s really my fault Lily has been detained,’ said Salvador smoothly. Lily tried not to let her disbelief show — Salvador was playing up for McGonagall and, by the looks, was succeeding. ‘I was just reviewing the patrol roster with her and we took a little longer than I expected.’

McGonagall eyed them beadily before telling them to go to their dormitories, promising to take points away if they didn’t. As her robes whipped around the corner and out of sight, Lily turned to Salvador and laughed. ‘You’re such a teacher’s pet.’

Salvador spread his hands out before him and grinned. ‘What can I say? I have to keep them charmed.’

‘You’re a charmer all right,’ Lily muttered.

 

_It’s so typical of him,_ she thought. _At the drop of a hat, he can be whatever character he wants to be, or at least what he thinks others want him to be._

‘I’m glad you agree, my lady, but I really am sorry for getting you in trouble.’

‘Don’t worry about it, we didn’t get detention or lose any points,’ said Lily.

‘Still, I apologise,’ said Salvador.  

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Lily repeated, a little more firmly.  He was always doing that — making out that everything he did, he did it for her — for her benefit, because no one else would do that for her.  

They made their way back to the common room, not really talking but not really silent either.  Lily walked without much thought in her mind; she just put one foot in front of the other and trusted that Salvador was taking them on the right course.  

‘So I was thinking that we could do something tomorrow,’ said Salvador.  ‘Nothing special, just something to break up the monotony of this place.’

 

_Monotony?_ Lily thought.  If there was one thing that she was certain of, it was that Hogwarts was never subjected to the grey shades of monotony.  Something was always happening, someone was always going somewhere, doing something — the inhabitants may be boring, but the surroundings never were.

 

_He thinks I underestimate people, but at least I know what’s around me._

Lily shrugged.  ‘Whatever, I don’t care.  Anna and I’ll probably be up to something, but she’ll more than likely disappear with Nate for a while —’

‘Oh, I don’t know about that,’ said Salvador quietly.  

They were standing before the Fat Lady now, and Salvador gave the password.  ‘After you,’ he said, gesturing for Lily to walk through.

‘Hold on, what’s that supposed to mean?’ Lily asked, stopping in front of the portrait.  Then she remembered how Salvador and Nate were talking in the common room earlier, and she narrowed her eyes.  ‘What did you say to him?’

Salvador held up his hands and backed away into the corner.  ‘Nothing!  I just pointed out a few things to him, which, I might add, he already knew —’

‘Why can’t you just leave them alone?  She likes him, he likes her — it’s none of your damn business what they do!’

Before Salvador could answer or close the portrait, Lily stalked through to the common room.  She looked around and saw that the Tournament was still going, with Remus Lupin now playing against a giddy-looking fourth year girl.  She appeared to be losing on purpose, although she did apologise several times when she won a shot and Remus was squirted with the foul liquid.  Preferring not to get caught up in the games, Lily made her way to the girls’ staircase, brushing off Sirius Black and his challenge for the next round.

 

_How does he_ do _that?  I’m fine one minute, then ready to rip his bloody head off the next!  He just makes me so angry!  And how dare he interfere with Anna and Nate?  That arrogant, presumptuous bast—_

‘Look out, someone’s about to be murdered,’ said Yanie from her corner of the dormitory.

‘I’ll do more than murder the bastard,’ Lily fumed.  She kicked off her shoes and used her foot to fling them against her bed head.  ‘I’ll throw him in acid before I hang, draw and quarter him!’ 

Yanie grinned but didn’t say anything else.  Anna looked up mildly from her notebook and Lily went to her, flopping down on the end of the bed.  Resting on her stomach, she propped her chin up on her hand, and watched while Anna continued to scribble away.  Finally, Anna put down her quill, closed her notebook and flipped over so she was lying on her back beside Lily.

Anna rolled her eyes and asked, ‘What’s he done now?’

‘Nothing new.’

In the dim light, Lily watched as Anna nodded.  ‘So what heinous act have I committed this time?’

Lily shrugged.  ‘I don’t know.  I got too angry with him before I could find out.’

‘I guess I’ll find out soon enough,’ sighed Anna.  ‘So were Nate and I the only topic of discussion, or have we been going over more of the Hogwarts population?’

‘We multitasked,’ said Lily impassively, shifting her weight from one elbow to the other.  ‘We analysed April Stark, you and Nate, _and_ my family.’

‘Now this _is_ interesting,’ said Anna.  ‘I understand the fascination with your family, but why are we delving into the world of our Ravenclaw Head Girl?’

Lily sighed.  ‘I don’t know,’ said Lily. ‘I think he’s got an opinion on her and wants to know if I share it.’

‘Do you think he’s chasing after her?’ 

Lily shrugged again.  ‘He could be.  You know how he is with his little flings.’

Anna snorted.  ‘Yeah, I know how he is.  But I also know that he never does anything about them — he just looks at them, likes them, finds something wrong with them, and then moves on.  He’s a bit like you, actually.’

‘Oi, we’re meant to be bashing Salvador, not me,’ said Lily.  They were quiet for a little while before Lily spoke again.  ‘But it’s weird with him — he could have any girl he wanted.  Have you seen the looks he’s been getting this year?’

‘Can’t quite understand it, myself,’ sighed Anna.  ‘He’s all right, I suppose, but there’s just no accounting for taste some times.’

Lily made a noise in her throat.  ‘Why can’t I just be angry with him?’ she asked.  ‘Five minutes ago, I was ticked off, but now … it’s so stupid of me.  Why can’t he just say to me, “Hey, Lily, what’s up?”�, and I can tell him to get nicked, no problems.’

Anna snorted.  ‘I don’t know about that.’

‘Why’s that?’

‘You two are just … I don’t know.  There’s something going on there.’

Lily buried her face in the pillow.  ‘There’s nothing “going on”� between us,’ she mumbled.

‘Not on your end, at least.’

‘Don’t tell me that.  I don’t want to hear that.’

Anna didn’t say anything for a while, and Lily took it to mean that the conversation was over.  She climbed off Anna’s bed and shuffled to her own.  It was only after she’d changed into her nightclothes and blown out her candle that Anna said anything.

‘I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but I’ll eat my hat if I find someone else who pisses you off as much as he does.’

Lily rolled her eyes in the dark.  ‘Good luck with that,’ she said, and she fell asleep before she could think any more of Salvador Colm, and why it was that she was friends with someone who aggravated so much.

&&&

Definitions at the beginning of the chapter are taken from the Lexicon Universal Dictionary. Mr Darcy belongs to Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice'; Amy March and Theodore Laurence belong to Louisa May Alcott's 'Little Women'.

And a BIG thank you to **anokam, autumncolours** and **rose_pagonias** for editing this, and for their patience (I’m _so_ sorry I forgot to thank you before).  You deserve a medal for putting up with my incessant nagging  and _terrible_ grammar. 

_Satirise_


	3. The Brighter Picture

\- Chapter Two: The Brighter Picture -

He who does not live in some degree for others, hardly lives for himself. MONTAIGNE

[Natasha Bedingfield, ‘Unwritten’]Lily knew she wasn’t one for tact. Stella was tactful; she wasn’t. Anna was diplomatic; Yanie was, for the most part, sincere. Even Mandy had some form of subtlety in her repertoire of bluntness. But Lily … it didn’t come naturally to her as it did to the others.

It was one of her greatest weaknesses. It allowed people to exploit her, and none knew how to do it better than her sister did.

Petunia knew how to push Lily’s buttons. She knew that if she teased Lily about her lanky arms and knobbly knees, Lily would get angry and retaliate by throwing sticks. Petunia would choose her moments well: outside, underneath the kitchen window; inside, by the bathroom, or down by the pigpen. Generally, anywhere that she knew her parents were.

Her grandfather was always telling her that getting angry didn’t solve anything. 

‘You scream and you yell, but what does it change?’ he’d say to her, handing her a butterscotch lolly to calm her down.

‘It’d help if Mum or Dad weren’t there. Then I could get her.’

‘Brave little one, aren’t you?’ Mr Appleton would chuckle, nudging Lily in the ribs.

‘I’ll get her one day, Gramps,’ said Lily. ‘Then she’ll be sorry.’

‘I was the same with your Uncle Ken. And then, the one time that I got him, I wished I hadn’t.’ 

‘What did you do?’ whispered Lily. She couldn’t imagine her grandfather being in trouble.

‘I punched him, square on the nose,’ said Mr Appleton. ‘I hurt my hand and broke his nose.’

‘Did you really? Did you do it because you don’t like Uncle Ken?’ asked Lily, excited. 

‘No, that’s not why I did it,’ sighed Mr Appleton. 

Oh, Grandad was so naughty! ‘What happened then?’

‘My father tanned my rear end, that’s what happened.’ 

Mr Appleton reached out for Lily then, and she squealed as he held her upside down by her feet.

‘My lolly, Grandad! I’ll lose my lolly! Put me down!’

‘I will, when you promise me that you won’t go looking for fights,’ said Mr Appleton.

‘I promise! I promise!’ 

Mr Appleton turned Lily up the right way, and put her back on the ground. Lily felt giddy as the blood rushed away from her head, but she’d never forgotten her promise to her grandfather.

She didn’t actively go looking for fights with Petunia anymore, and that didn’t change when she went to Hogwarts. She’d thought that she’d be safe there, that she’d be with people who would understand her, but it wasn’t always the case.

While Hogwarts didn’t have Petunia Evans, it sure had enough people willing to take her place. 

In her first ever Potions lesson, she sat beside two girls with whom she shared a dormitory: Yanie Hinchinbrook and Stella Gatewood. They were telling her about the potions they’d brewed with their mothers. Lily had said that she should like Potions – it sounded just like following the recipe to Grandma Appleton’s chocolate fudge.

Severus Snape sneered at this.

‘Don’t be stupid,’ he said. ‘You’re talking about cooking, not potions. Muggles aren’t smart enough for Potions. You’re going to fail.’

‘How would you know?’ Lily retorted. 

‘Because you’re a Mudblood, and everyone knows that Mudbloods are stupid.’

Instead of crying, and instead of throwing sticks at him, Lily had opened her textbook and paid extra attention in class. She paid extra attention in Charms and Herbology too, and every other class that she had that day, that week, that year …

No one was going to tell her that she was stupid, and that she didn’t deserve to be there. No one was going to call her names and make her feel worthless. She knew that people would always look at her differently, and that she would be judged not only by people like Severus Snape, but by her own friends and family.

Pride was a dangerous thing, and Lily had it in bucketfuls. Severus Snape had opened her eyes right from the get-go, and Petunia had never screamed so much as when Lily filled her pillowcase with frogspawn.

&&&

The time between Christmas and Easter rarely goes according to the studious student’s study plan.

Right, I’ve four or five months to get my act together. I’ll read a bit every night, do my homework on time – get ahead. A stitch in time, and all that. It’ll be a breeze, no worries.

Christmas holidays end, the new school term begins – you start out well. For maybe a week or two, you’ve followed your plan. But then, your mates organise a game of Quidditch and you just have to play. The game of Quidditch turns into Butterbeers in the common room. Then the rest of the common room join in, which leads to the promise of more Butterbeers next Friday night. Friday night stretches to Saturday night, too, and before you know it, you’re on a downward spiral of unadulterated procrastination and your resolution becomes a faded memory, something to pull out of the dusty corners of your mind the night before an exam. You sit there and think, what the hell happened to all that time? I had months!

The Marauders, however, made no such resolution. While they were sure to keep abreast of their studies, they didn’t refuse the free-flowing Butterbeers that were passed around the common room. They enjoyed school and spending time with friends. They enjoyed learning more about magic and their powers. 

But most of all, they enjoyed the way in which they applied the classroom knowledge outside, in the busy school corridors. For a whole week in January, students and teachers alike had to cast a Bubble Head Charm to walk along the Charms corridor. 

Professor Flitwick had only just finished teaching his fifth years about Switching Spells, and how to keep the scent of the original object contained within the new object. Martina Sweeney had to be taken to the hospital wing after Sirius Black handed her a rosebud that smelt like a decomposed toad. It had taken Madam Pomfrey nearly an hour to stop Martina from throwing up every few minutes.

Sirius’ fun had been rewarded with a fortnight’s worth of detentions, and even though the rosebud had been destroyed, the smell had somehow managed to remain in the corridor. Almost a month later, Martina Sweeney still had a slight green tinge to her skin, and she couldn’t help but retch every time Brien Wallace’s toad hopped into sight. 

‘You need to stop getting yourself so many detentions,’ said Peter once Sirius’ fortnight of service had ended. ‘How else are we meant to do it if you’re always cleaning out bedpans?’

‘It was worth it,’ Sirius said, but Peter had been right. Sirius’ absence had put their schedule back, and it had cost them dearly. The full moon had come and gone, and Remus had had to spend it alone again.

They swore that it would never happen again. They would stay up til two o’clock every morning studying if that was what it took. Three years was long enough, they decided. They were going to get it right this month, come hell or high water. They were going to stay with Remus in that bloody Shrieking Shack next full moon even if it killed them.

‘Do you reckon we’ll be ready by Tuesday?’ James asked, three weeks later.

‘I reckon,’ said Peter. ‘We’ve got everything right up until now …’

Sirius nodded. ‘This weekend we’ll do it. I can feel it.’

‘Do what?’ Madam Pince said, interrupting the boys at their table in the Library.

Four guilty faces looked at each other.

‘Study for Transfiguration.’

‘Finish our homework.’

‘Read all these books.’

‘Nothing!’

Madam Pince made a noise of disbelief in her throat as she put the books back on the shelves. She kept shooting the boys glances every few moments, checking to see if they were still working.

‘We can’t stay here anymore,’ said Peter. ‘She’s on to us.’

‘Don’t worry,’ said James confidently. ‘We won’t have to come back after the weekend.’

It had all started in their second year. Christmas holidays were about to start; Hogwarts was at its festive best. James and Sirius wanted to stay at the castle for the holidays, but Remus had ruined their plans when he’d told them he was leaving early. His mother had fallen ill again. 

Sirius, thinking that Remus was lying to them, confronted him.

‘Your mother isn’t really sick, is she?’

‘Yes, she is.’

‘She must be the world’s sickest person then, because she’s sick all the time.’

‘She can’t help that,’ defended Remus.

‘Why can’t your dad look after her?’

‘Because he’s working.’

‘And you’re at school but you still take time off,’ stated Sirius.

‘That’s different.’

‘You’re lying to us.’

‘No, I’m not.’

‘Then what’s wrong with your mum?’

‘She’s sick, I told you!’

‘I know that, but what’s making her sick?’ pressed Sirius.

‘I don’t know. I’m not her Healer.’

‘She obviously needs one, she’s sick every month. And you come back looking awful, too!’

‘She can’t help it! And there’s nothing wrong with me! Mum’s sick, not me, so leave me alone!’

‘Come on, ease up.’ James stepped in at this point. ‘If there’s something going on, he’ll tell us. Won’t you, Remus?’

Remus remembered feeling distinctly uncomfortable at this, but he couldn’t tell them – he’d never lied to his friends before and he hated doing it, but he had to. They’d hate him if they knew the truth. 

So the boys had gone to their respective homes for Christmas, and everything was fine between them, until the next month. Remus had to leave again, explaining that his mother hadn’t fully recovered from her last bout of illness. 

Sirius didn’t say anything – he’d gotten nowhere last time. Peter asked Remus to pass on his best wishes to Mrs Lupin. James’ reaction was somewhere in between the two. He, like Sirius, found it hard to believe that Mrs Lupin was always ill, but he understood it at the same time.

If his mother were sick, he’d want to be there to make sure she was right again, but it still didn’t sit well with James. It wasn’t right, and after a chance conversation with his cousin, he started to question the measly facts that Remus had given them. 

James had been at Quidditch practice when he started talking to his cousin, who was one of the Chasers. They were talking about how their family seemed to be full of nutters, and how Aunt Cecile had cabaret danced with the enchanted snowmen at Christmas. James blamed it on one too many cream ports, but Rodney said it was the fault of Grandmother Potter’s roasted ox tongue. Whichever the case, they agreed that nutters or not, the Potters knew how to throw a decent Christmas bash.

‘The only problem with holidays, though, is the homework they dish out. I had to write two essays for each subject! The worst was five feet on werewolves – five! We had to write everything about them; it was a nightmare, honestly. But I learnt loads of wicked stuff from it. Hey, did you know that most werewolves pretend they’re sick or something? You know, as their excuse for why they have to disappear and all.’

‘That’s fascinating stuff, Rodney. Really, it is.’

James may have thrown Rodney’s words away with sarcasm, but they stayed with him. He remembered the argument between Remus and Sirius, and how Sirius had pointed out that Mrs Lupin was sick every month. He knew Remus went away all the time, but he’d never noticed that there was a timeframe to it. And there was never an explanation as to why she was sick. She was just … sick. 

Every month … sick … excuses all the time, no reasons … 

He’d found Sirius that night and quietly told him everything that Rodney had said and what he thought. Sirius couldn’t believe it.

‘You think Mrs Lupin is a werewolf? Are you bloody mad?’

‘Think about it,’ James implored. ‘She’s sick every month, Remus never tells us anything and you have to admit, his excuses are getting pretty thin. Rodney was saying that werewolves tell everyone that they’ve got some disease or something to hide why they’re away all the time.’

‘Yeah, but then why doesn’t Mrs Lupin make the excuses?’

‘She probably does, but Remus still goes home to be with his father. You know that werewolves only respond to their own kind, Mr Lupin would need someone to help him get through it all.’

‘I suppose. We should do it.’

‘You reckon?’

‘There’s only one way to find out, aye.’

‘Ok, we’ll do it.’

‘Do what?’ said Remus, sitting beside them.

Remus had sent a letter to his parents, and he and Peter had only just come back from the Owlery.

‘I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. I’m turning in,’ answered Sirius, raising his eyebrows meaningfully and nodding in the direction of the staircase. 

‘Yeah, me too,’ added James, standing and stretching. ‘You lot coming?’

‘Ok,’ Remus and Peter murmured, wondering why they were going upstairs – it was only nine o’clock.

Not a moment after the door had closed, James came straight out with it. 

‘Your mum’s a werewolf, isn’t she? That’s why you’re away every month, isn’t it? You’re going home to be with your dad while your mum’s a werewolf.’

The blood rushed from Remus’ head and his mouth turned dry. Sirius was watching him like a hawk; James was standing in front of the door, and Peter was hugging the corner of his four-poster. 

‘My mum is not a werewolf.’ The words were calmly spoken, and Remus delivered them looking James directly in the eye.

Several tense seconds passed before Remus pushed past them and went to his bed. He hurled James’ Quaffle against the wall before he ripped his curtains shut. 

The Quaffle bounced and rolled along the floor. Peter watched its progress until it hit the corner of a bed and finally stopped. He looked at James and Sirius, confused. ‘So … er – what should we do now?’

James kicked the Quaffle. His foot connected with a trunk and he howled. How could he have been so wrong? 

Sirius had started to talk when the curtains around Remus’ bed were wrenched back. Remus glared at James, ‘I’m the werewolf, not Mum!’ 

Dumbstruck. Silence. A deafeningly, dumbstruck silence. 

‘That’s why I’m away all the time, that’s why Mum’s always sick! So yeah, you were right Sirius. I was lying to you. Mum’s not sick, I am!’ He was angry, so very angry, and he couldn’t stop himself. ‘So bugger off! It’s what you want to do, right? Who the hell would want to be my friend now?’

James just stared at Remus. Peter couldn’t move – he was still clinging to the corner of his bed. Sirius sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. Then James shouted and punched the door behind him.

‘You tosser!’

‘What?’ Peter turned to James. 

‘What are you doing?’ hissed Sirius.

‘He’s a tosser!’ James pointed at Remus.

‘Why am I the tosser? You’re acting like one more than I am!’ Remus blazed.

‘You’ve lied to us right from the beginning! So much for being mates, you couldn’t even tell us the truth!’ spat James.

‘Yeah, and what would have happened if I’d told you?’

‘We would’ve helped you!’ yelled James.

‘No one can! That’s the point, you idiot! You’d all bugger off because you’d want nothing to do with me.’ Remus raised his hands and wriggled his fingers. ‘Ooh, stay away from the werewolf, he may get you in your sleep!’

Peter let go of his post and bolted for the door. ‘Let me out of here! Quick!’

James pushed him away from the door. ‘Where d’you think you’re going?’ 

‘Away from here,’ said Peter. ‘You’re all bloody mad!’

‘If you leave now, don’t expect to be mates with us anymore,’ said Sirius. He was still sitting on his bed, but he was now looking at each of them in turn. ‘Remus is our friend.’

‘And what’s going to happen when the full moon comes around?’ said Peter. ‘What are we going to do then?’

‘Has he done anything to us yet?’ asked James. 

Peter’s eyes widened. ‘Do you know what could happen if he does do something?’

‘Hogwarts would have a few more werewolves,’ said Sirius.

‘And that doesn’t bother you?’ said Peter, incredulous.

‘We can still be his friend, you know. He’s not going to kill us,’ said Sirius, going over to where James and Peter stood.

‘But what if something happens? What if he gets it wrong, and he attacks someone?’

Sirius’ lip curled and he grasped Peter’s shoulder with his hand. ‘Remus can’t hurt us when he isn’t a werewolf. If he were to bite you now, all you’d get would be a few teeth marks and a lot of spit.’

‘But if he bites us when he’s a werewolf?’ pressed Peter. 

Peter was becoming hysterical, but James and Sirius weren’t paying any heed to him; they were already dreaming up ways to exploit the situation. What they were aiming to do, more specifically, was frighten the living daylights out of the Slytherins.

‘But we’ll never breathe a word of it to anyone,’ promised James.

‘Absolutely; they’ll have to kill me before I admit anything,’ said Sirius. He nodded his head once, as if the gesture proved the gravity of the situation. 

Remus still wasn’t able to say anything; he kept looking from James to Peter to Sirius, worried that at any moment, they’d walk out the door and he’d never talk to them again. He’d be on the train back home the next morning, he was sure of it.

‘You’re not thinking about this properly! What if he bites someone? What then? We go to Madam Pomfrey and ask for an Anti-Werewolf Potion?’

Sirius stopped talking about a story his uncle told him years ago, and James leapt up to grab Peter by the shoulders. ‘It won’t happen! Remus won’t hurt anyone!’ he yelled.

It was a scene Remus played frequently over in his mind. It wasn’t a particularly fond memory for him, seeing one of his friends shaking another (as if by doing so, he’d shake some sense into him), but he thought about it all the time. It was like a train wreck – yes, it was horrible and you wanted nothing more than to turn away, but you’re so engrossed by the scene that you can’t physically stop yourself from watching.

James and Sirius had been able to see that the werewolf wasn’t all there was to Remus – that it didn’t always control him. Peter’s reaction had troubled Remus more than anything else did, for while Peter hadn’t been scared of Remus, he wasn’t as excited about becoming an Animagus as the other two.

James and Sirius were chewing at the bit to learn the difficult magic, but Peter wasn’t. He didn’t once complain or question why they were doing it, and he didn’t ever hold Remus’ condition against him, but he hardly asked questions and he never brought the subject up. There were times when Peter would look at Remus strangely, and Remus would want to curl up in the bottom of a broom closet and rot to pieces. 

Perhaps Peter reacted the way he did because, unlike James and Sirius (who saw the brighter picture), Peter saw the bigger picture. He saw the picture beyond midnight adventures in the Forbidden Forest – beyond all schoolyard happenings – to the real world. 

Three years later, Remus still didn’t know which he preferred: the bigger picture, or the brighter picture.

&&&

Please come home for Easter. There’s so much to do, and it’s been so long. They say that it’ll only get worse for him. Please come home.

Love always Mum.

&&&

If there was one time of the week that Lily looked forward to, it was Sunday afternoons at dusk. It was the time that she and Anna left everyone else to their own devices, and went to sit on the landing outside the Arithmancy classroom. From where they sat, they could see everything that happened on the front lawn of Hogwarts. They often watched Hagrid in his garden with his many pets and other strange creatures, and there was almost always a team practising on the Quidditch pitch. 

They’d been coming to this spot for over a year now, having seen the landing during their first Arithmancy lesson. They liked that no matter how often they went there, no one else was silly enough to sit hundreds of feet up in the air with nothing below them.

‘We’re so brave, sitting out here, so high up,’ Anna remarked.

‘Yes,’ answered Lily, ‘so brave that we sit with our backs against the wall and don’t sit anywhere near the edge.’

‘You aren’t meant to notice that,’ said Anna, drawing her notebook out of her pocket. She found a blank page and started to sketch the Quidditch pitch in front of them. The flags on the pitch were fluttering in the breeze, and the sun was shining weakly through the heavy clouds. The Gryffindor team was out in all their glory and Lily watched as seven players flew around the stadium, throwing a bright red ball back and forth. After a while, she grew bored of watching this, and turned her attention towards the sky.

‘Looks like it’ll rain tonight,’ sighed Lily.

‘Remind me to close the window, then,’ said Anna, briefly looking up to the heavens as well.

Anna continued to draw, and tiring of the clouds and mountains in front of her, Lily looked down to the courtyard on her left.

‘Would you believe me if I said that Yanie and Sirius were dating?’ said Lily.

‘Are they?’

‘Certainly looks that way,’ said Lily, still peering over the edge. ‘Or maybe she hugs every guy she knows and holds his hand for no apparent reason.’

‘I wondered if anything was going on there,’ said Anna. ‘They’ve been making eyes at each other all week.’

‘I wonder what Mandy has to say about it?’

‘Why should Mandy care? Isn’t she dating that Darius fellow?’

‘Yeah, but we were talking about which of the Gryffindor boys in our class we’d rather kiss. I think Mandy has a bit of a soft spot for Sirius.’

‘Are you joking? Mandy likes Sirius? When was this?’ asked Anna, looking up from her drawing.

Lily looked over at it and laughed. ‘I think you should stick to writing, love. I didn’t know the Quidditch pitch was on stilts. It looks like an oversized bungalow on toothpicks.’

Anna rolled her eyes. ‘They’re not stilts, and have you ever seen a bungalow that big? But ignore that. When did all this happen?’

‘During the week,’ answered Lily. ‘Stella was there, too.’

‘And? Who do they like?’

‘Not who they like, who they’d like to snog,’ said Lily. 

‘Same difference,’ said Anna, getting impatient.

‘Well … Yanie wanted Sirius or Remus; Mandy wanted Sirius, James or Remus, and Stella wanted Emerson, James or Peter.’ Lily ticked them off on her fingers, scrunching her forehead as she tried to remember the conversation.

‘Stella chose Peter?’ asked Anna. ‘Really?’

‘What’s wrong Peter?’

‘Nothing, I guess,’ said Anna, settling back against the wall. ‘I didn’t know she fancied him, is all.’

‘She doesn’t, I don’t think.’

‘So who would you rather snog?’ Anna asked, glancing sideways and grinning.

‘None of them.’

‘Not even Remus, your wonderful patrol partner?’ asked Anna sweetly.

‘No, not even Remus, my wonderful patrol partner,’ returned Lily sarcastically.

‘Nice to know. But Mandy’s got the right idea,’ said Anna. ‘Any one of them wouldn’t be bad.’

‘Don’t you have a boyfriend you should be snogging somewhere? You know, away from me, with no annoying questions?’

‘Nope. He knows to leave me alone on Sundays,’ said Anna. ‘So, which of them would you rather kiss?’

Lily shrugged. ‘I don’t know. The thought of Emerson and Peter … they just don’t really do much for me. Like that, I mean. I don’t know; they’re all friends; I guess I wouldn’t kiss any of them.’

‘I thought you said that you didn’t want to kiss Remus?’ Lily shrugged, and Anna continued. ‘So, you won’t kiss Emerson, Peter or Remus, but you will kiss James and Sirius?’

‘It’s not something I plan on doing, you know.’

‘What’s wrong with everyone other than them two?’ asked Anna.

‘Nothing! I said that!’

Anna raised an eyebrow. ‘Then why are they the special ones?’

‘They aren’t.’

‘But they’re the ones you’d kiss first?’

‘Probably.’

‘Probably? What does “probably” mean?’

‘They’re good looking and … attractive, I suppose – I’ll give them that. But they’re also shit heads,’ Lily added quickly, ‘which you well know, so I don’t particularly want to date either of them!’

‘You just want to kiss them?’ said Anna, questioningly. ‘Because that makes an awful lot of sense from where I’m sitting.’

‘Would you prefer that I went and snogged Salvador, then?’ said Lily, getting impatient.

‘That’s one image the world could do without,’ shuddered Anna.

She went back to her drawing, only to give up ten minutes later when she ripped the Quidditch pitch on stilts from her book and used it to play a game of tennis (Anna used her notebook as her racquet, and Lily used one of the textbooks from the classroom). The game stopped when the predicted rain started to fall.

They stood inside the classroom, watching the Gryffindor team still flying around on the pitch. They could barely make out the players from the constant stream on the windowpanes.

‘So you don’t like Remus, then?’ said Anna, once again bringing up the topic.

‘Not like that, no.’

‘That’s good, then,’ said Anna, following Lily as they walked out of the room. ‘Means that Mandy owes me a Chocolate Frog, then.’

‘You bet on which one of them I liked?’

‘Yep,’ smiled Anna. ‘And I won.’

‘You knew I wouldn’t want Remus?’

‘Well, I didn’t think you’d want James – Sirius, probably – but not James. I just didn’t think you’d want to go out with Remus. He’s too quiet for you, or something. You’d both get bored too easy.’

Lily frowned. ‘You think so?’

Anna raised her eyebrows and turned to Lily in mock shock. She tilted her head and waved an imaginary cigarette in the air, a la Professor Rasink. ‘Pigeon, I know so.’

&&&

Four boys stood in a small room, each holding a stick of wood tightly in their hand. For anyone who had stumbled into that small room in that large castle, they would have wondered why they were there and not in bed, where their classmates were sure to be.

There was a sense of excitement and anticipation in the air. They seemed to be nervous; one looked ready to faint, and another kept running his hands through his hair.

‘How are we going to do this?’ one asked.

‘Together. We all do it at the same time,’ said the hoarse voice of another.

One stepped away from the circle, clutching tightly to his wand. He looked worried, but he didn’t make any move to stop the others from what they were about to do.

‘Ready? On the count of three,’ the hoarse-voiced one said.

‘One … two … THREE!’ they shouted together, and they waved their wands high above their heads before bringing them down across their bodies.

A flash of light came from each wand: russet, aquamarine and scarlet. The boys were knocked off their feet, flying backwards to land on the cushions behind them.

As the room cleared, and the dust stopped falling from the rafters, the boy who had stepped out of the circle earlier laughed and punched the air. He looked at the three still on the floor and shouted, ‘We’ve done it! We’ve finally done it!’

&&&

Thank yous and huggles go to AutumnColours and anokam, my lovely betas. Also, the world owes starburst1237 a block of chocolate for agreeing to post this for me (Bill Gates … just grrrrrr).

Love it or hate it, I’d dearly love to know what you thought of this chapter.

Satirise.


	4. The Art of Protest

**Fisticuffs at Florean’s**

_Back when I was nineteen or so, before I married and had children, I was studying to become a Healer. I was a Ravenclaw with potential, and I was expected to go further with my studies. But it was hard – the course was difficult and they didn’t have any trainee spots open at St Mungo’s. My family didn’t have two Sickles to its name and I needed a job, so it wasn’t much of a surprise when I ended up working at the Leaky Cauldron. My parents were horrified but I didn’t care; I was given free meals and a place to stay if I needed it, and I met some incredible people._

_One of those people ended up being my husband. He was a regular, one of my best tippers, and we spoke often. He came from a wealthy pureblood family and worked in the family business. He’d stay back long after everyone else, and we’d drink shots of Firewhisky until Tom came down and sent us off. It was obvious that I liked him, and that he liked me – we started dating after about two months. He promised to take care of me, to give me everything I ever wanted. You’ll never have to work again, he said to me – we’ll travel the world; have a family. I knew he loved me, but I was still young and the thought of being a mother terrified me._

_I was never good with children, and I had an awful relationship with my parents. I hadn’t spoken to my brother for years. I didn’t want to bring children up in a family like my own; I didn’t want my children to hate each other. I was ready to turn down Neil’s proposal when I saw two kids, probably no older than seven or so, happily eating ice cream outside of Florean’s one day. They were laughing and joking about when another boy came along and took the little girl’s cone straight out of her hand. I was ready to go over there and sort them out, but then the brother took charge and told the boy to give his sister back her ice cream or he’d be sorry. The boy, who was probably already at Hogwarts, sneered at them. The sister looked ready to start crying, so her brother handed her his cone, told her not to be upset, and pushed the other boy backwards, punching and hitting him._

_I ran up to them then, just as their parents came outside. ‘James, how many time have I told you not to fight with people?’ the woman said, as the man grabbed his son._

_‘He took Emma’s cone!’ James shouted, pointing at the boy who now had strawberry ice cream in his hair. ‘I wasn’t letting him get away with it!’_

_I smiled at that, and so did the little girl, Emma. When the family walked away, Emma took James’ hand and grinned up at him, licking away at his ice cream. That was what I wanted, I decided. I wanted children just like James and Emma – and that’s what Neil gave me. I bet those kids have forgotten all about that day, but I haven’t. I remember it every time I look at Trent and Natasha._

**\- Chapter Three: The Art of Protest -**

Better be quarrelling than lonesome. IRISH PROVERB

[Pete Murray, ‘Class A’]

The year was passing much too quickly for Lily. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt so stressed. Aside from her extra responsibilities as a prefect, she’d taken up Charms Club and signed up for additional Transfiguration lessons – as Salvador constantly reminded her that this was one of her weakest areas and needed improvement. On top of that, the OWLs continued to loom over the horizon, and she marched towards them as though she was marching to the sound of her own death knell.

Professor Thornton continued to provide Lily with books on Advocacy, which she continued to accept with a growing amount of guilt. She threw the latest book on top of the mounting pile of leaflets and publications that other professors had given her.

‘Don’t do it if you don’t want to,’ said Anna. ‘There’d be nothing worse than going through all those years of study, only to come out not wanting it.’

‘I do want it,’ insisted Lily, not the least bit tetchy. ‘I just don’t want all the study that comes along with it.’

Her temper was beginning to get the better of her. She and Mandy had come close to trading blows several times, and she found that she couldn’t talk to Yanie anymore without wanting to throw or break something. She had no real reason for wanting to do this, other than Yanie seemed to be so much happier than she did. And above all that, Salvador still insisted on three-hour conversations and walks through the castle.

‘I have OWLs to study for,’ she pointed out to him.

‘They aren’t for two months,’ he said.

‘I know, but I have a lot to do between now and then.’

‘I have NEWTs, but do you see me running around like a headless chicken?’

‘Don’t speak like that, Salvador. It doesn’t suit you,’ she said. 

Salvador wasn’t too happy about being pushed away, but he bit his tongue and gave Lily all the space she wanted. He’d occasionally send her an owl and ask what she was doing after dinner, but the response was typical: Plenty of homework and revision; can’t do anything tonight, sorry.

In truth, she wasn’t studying as hard or as often as she told Salvador she was. She was often curled up on her bed, reading books she’d read several times before. The thought of studying was as welcome to her as the prospect of explaining to Salvador why she didn’t want to be in a long-term relationship. They’d spoken about it previously, and Salvador, despite Lily’s best efforts, could not be persuaded to believe that she didn’t want a boyfriend because she simply didn’t want one. “Everyone wants someone; it’s a basic human instinct. We weren’t meant to be alone.” Lily had held back a gag as he waggled his eyebrows at her and tried to hug her.

Ever since Anna had made that passing comment about there being something between Salvador and herself, she’d tried to limit as much physical contact with Salvador as possible. She knew how she felt about Salvador, and it did not entail moonlit walks along beaches or roses being left on the bedside table. It was a shame because she had always felt relatively comfortable touching Salvador. She had always been conscious of what her speech was implying, but she had always been able to give him a hug and not worry about giving the wrong impression.

There would definitely be no arm linking if they patrolled, Lily decided.

‘He knows that you’re avoiding him,’ said Anna. ‘Even a blind man could see that.’

‘He’ll deal with it,’ said Lily.

‘And if he doesn’t?’

‘Then I’ll hear about it,’ said Lily impatiently.

‘Why are you avoiding him, exactly? Any reason is a good reason, I know, but why aren’t you talking to him?’ asked Anna.

Lily sighed and frowned. ‘I’m worried that he’ll try something.’

‘Try something?’ Anna repeated, confused.

‘Yes,’ said Lily. ‘As in, try to kiss me, or – or …’

Lily waved her hands in the air helplessly, searching for the right words. She knew that Anna knew what she meant, though.

‘Or force you into a broom closet?’ offered Anna.

‘Yes!’ said Lily, collapsing on the bed beside Anna. She felt her entire face grow hot. ‘How stupid is that?’

‘It’s not stupid at all. I’d be scared of being in a broom closet with him, too,’ said Anna lightly, nudging Lily in the ribs.

Lily scoffed and shook her head. She liked how Anna was about Salvador. Her opinion of him was marred by her belief that he was trying to break her and Nate up, but she generally saw him for the person he was. It was a refreshing change for Lily, who often had to hear swooning and repeated gushes about how handsome her friend was, and why wasn’t she dating him?

‘You’re going to have to open up to the possibility some day,’ Anna gently pressed. ‘It’s not such a big deal.’

‘I’ve only just turned sixteen. I don’t think the world is going to end if I don’t sleep with someone just yet,’ said Lily. 

It was a mark of their friendship that Anna saved Lily the humility of dragging the topic out further. While Lily was certainly no prude, she was rather reserved on the issue and rarely participated in the hushed and curious conversations that the other girls in the dormitory sometimes held.

‘I just keep on thinking about all the things he says and does around me, and … I don’t know! It’s just normal friends don’t act like that, do they?’

Anna shrugged. ‘Isn’t that what he wants, though? Something that isn’t “run of the mill”?’

‘You mean a friendship that’s borderline romantic,’ muttered Lily. ‘Why didn’t I pick up on it before? I don’t act like that with anyone else. No wonder I don’t have a boyfriend.’

‘Boyfriends aren’t all they’re cracked up to be,’ said Anna. ‘They’re good for a while, but you can’t count on them.’

‘Nate’s being a prat again?’ asked Lily. She turned to Anna, ready to hear the latest development in their relationship, but Anna just shrugged and moved away.

‘It’s not the same anymore. It was only meant to be a casual thing, but he’s just … he’s changed, and I don’t like it.’

‘Casual?’ Lily repeated, snorting despite her best efforts not to. ‘When was it ever casual?’

‘You know what I mean,’ said Anna, waving a hand. ‘It wasn’t meant to turn out this way.’

‘You mean, you didn’t want to fall for him,’ said Lily. ‘Do you still want to be with him?’

‘No. I mean, yes, or at least I think so,’ said Anna. ‘It’s hard to stay with someone when his friends don’t like you.’

‘The guys like you, I know they do,’ said Lily earnestly. ‘It’s only Salvador and his stupid protective streak.’

‘Why does he need to protect Nate from me? What’s so scary about me?’ cried Anna, close to tears.

‘You’re a threat to his idea of mateship. The fact that you’ve been together for about eight months now, and that Nate’s happy, and that he spends a lot of his time with you and not the boys … it all adds up for Salvador,’ said Lily.

‘He’s not happy! That’s the point! Shouldn’t he be happy? Shouldn’t I make him happy?’

Lily bit her lip – she didn’t know how to respond. She knew that Anna was only acting this way because she was upset; Anna was generally a very sensible person. Lily knew that she should have comforted Anna straight away and dispelled any doubts her best friend had, but a little voice in the back of her mind told her that Anna was being irrational. She was almost sixteen years old and dating a boy two years older than her, a boy who she had already claimed not to be the love of her life. They were what her grandmother would have called ‘high-school sweethearts’; nothing more and nothing less.

Anna believed that she loved Nate, but she also believed that the relationship was not meant to last. How could Lily give Anna assurance when she didn’t think Anna really needed it?

‘I think you’re overreacting,’ Lily said quietly. ‘And I think that you know that, too.’

Like a balloon deflating, Anna seemed to shrink in front of Lily. She buried her head in her hands and took great steadying breaths. Finally, she looked up at Lily with a desperate look on her face. ‘Do you hate that I spend so much time with him?’ asked Anna. ‘Salvador hates me. Do you hate Nate?’

Lily thought that Anna looked like a ten year old in the school playground, swearing that she’d divorce her pretend husband if she thought he was being nasty.

‘He’s alright, I guess, but I don’t hate him because he’s with you,’ Lily said.

Anna didn’t say anything to this, but she seemed to consider Lily’s words for a while. She went to her nightstand and pulled out her notebook, then shut her hangings around her.

Lily hit her head against one of the posters of her bed. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’

&&&

James liked to think that he was loyal. He liked to think that if anything happened to any of his family or friends that he’d be there, in the thick of it all. Rain, hail or shine – James Potter was loyal.

Thank you, Sir; salute the flag.

But some days … he wished his loyalty would rot in hell and leave him in peace.

Like today.

‘Say that about her one more time, and I swear your pretty-boy head won’t be the same ever again,’ threatened James, pointing his wand at Bertram Aubrey.

‘James, forget it,’ Emma was saying, pulling at his arm. ‘Don’t do it, he’s not worth it.’

James remained silent, his wand still on Aubrey.

‘James!’ said Emma, stomping her foot. ‘This is stupid!’

‘Think about it this way, Em,’ said Sirius, stepping forward. ‘Once James hexes him, he won’t give you any more trouble.’

‘That’s not going to change much. I could hex him myself,’ said Emma, looking between her brother and her ex-boyfriend. ‘Fair enough, Bertram deserves whatever he gets –’

‘So why are we arguing?’ said Sirius, rocking backwards and forwards on the balls of his feet. ‘Aubrey offended you, which offended James. James, here, will now retaliate, and we’ll all feel the better for it. Except for Aubrey, I suppose, but we can’t please everyone.’

Emma seemed to consider this for a while, but she shook her head and stood in front of Aubrey. She looked at James, and pleaded. ‘Don’t do it. Please. I’ll never live it down if you do,’ she added desperately.

James seemed to hesitate, and he lowered his wand.

Aubrey sniggered from behind Emma. ‘So much for your tough act, Potter – your sister walks all over you. I can’t blame you, of course. The little wench can make any guy –’

James’ wand sliced through the air before anyone had time to react. Sirius had only just reached out for Emma in time – if he hadn’t grabbed her, perhaps she would have been the one with the inflated head instead of Aubrey.

Sirius gave a low whistle. ‘Quick Draw McGraw strikes again. Not a bad effort, Prongs.’

Emma ignored Sirius and hissed at James, ‘Grandad told you not to use that one! It’s illegal!’

James shrugged, just as Filch pushed through the circle of students who had been witness to the little spectacle.

‘Detention!’ roared Filch. He pointed at James, then Sirius. ‘Both of you!’

‘Fine,’ said James, pocketing his wand. He felt a small amount of satisfaction as Aubrey tried to hold his head up in his hands. James smirked; Aubrey’s eyes were the size of cricket balls. 

‘See you at nine?’ Sirius said to Filch. ‘Same time, same place?’

‘Double detention!’ yelled Filch, his face bright red.

‘The things I do for you,’ James muttered to Emma.

And that was how James’ pride had placed him in detention that night. He supposed it wasn’t too bad – Sirius was in detention too, and Emma had promised to make it up to them once Filch let them go. He assumed this meant a few bottles of Butterbeer down at the Quidditch pitch.

‘This ought to teach you,’ Filch said, pacing around the table that James sat at. ‘Shelling snails without magic … how does that feel, Potter?’

Think of the Butterbeer. More Butterbeer, less Filch.

‘Did you think I wouldn’t get you? Is that it? You lot … I tell you. Always making a mess for me to clean up, laughing about it like it’s funny. I’ll set you straight, boy, don’t you worry.’

James kept shelling the snails in front of him – he wasn’t going to look at the caretaker. He was going to continue shelling the snails, and think only of the Butterbeer that Emma would have waiting for him.

‘You’re to finish that bucket tonight,’ said Filch, leering at James.

James returned to the bucket in front of him. He tried not to retch when one of the snails latched on to him; it made a sucking noise as it slid down his finger. James tried to flick it off, but only succeeded in whacking his knuckles against the tabletop.

Filch laughed at him, and James only glowered more. 

Indeed, the things he did for his sister …

&&&

Dear Mum,

Just writing for a quick update on Grandad – haven’t heard anything in a while – getting a little worried.

Write as soon as you can.

&&&

‘I’ll never forget how Aubrey’s face looked,’ laughed Emma, lying down on the grass of the Quidditch pitch. ‘It was worth your detention.’

‘Detentions,’ corrected James. ‘As in, two of them.’

‘I tell you what,’ said Sirius, stretching out beside Emma, ‘if you weren’t like my own sister, I would’ve told Filch to get nicked.’

‘Good thing I have all your friends conned, isn’t it?’ Emma laughed at James.

‘”Conned” is the word, all right,’ muttered James, looking around. ‘Where’s the Butterbeer?’

‘Who said anything about Butterbeer?’ blinked Emma.

‘Tradition,’ said Sirius. ‘C’mon, where are you hiding it? I’m hanging out for it …’

‘Good thing I remembered to bring them, then,’ said Emma, winking at James. She pulled six tiny bottles out of her pockets and stood them in the grass. 

‘What shall we drink to?’ asked James, enlarging the bottles with his wand.

‘Two nights of shelling snails?’ suggested Emma, passing the bottles around.

Sirius glared at her. ‘How about we drink to the end of a shitty relationship that big brother and best mate had to get you out of?’

‘I was able to do that much without your help,’ said Emma. ‘And you aren’t my best friend.’

‘How about we drink to James bailing you out again?’ said Sirius. He looked pointedly at Emma.

‘How about we drink to the day when you and James don’t resort to violence to make a point?’ retorted Emma. 

‘Let’s drink to the hell of drinking,’ said James loudly. ‘Why not, hmm?’

Sirius and Emma looked at each other and shrugged. ‘Cheers to that,’ they said, and charged their bottles.

Sirius took a long swig and burped. He glanced appreciatively at his bottle. ‘A hard day’s work rewarded with mother’s milk.’

James sniffed his bottle suspiciously. ‘If it came from your mother it’s probably poisonous.’

Sirius paused with the bottle at his lips. ‘Ok, so we’ll make it your mother.’

‘Aren’t you slightly disturbed that he’s referring to our mother like that?’ Emma asked James.

‘Not really,’ said James. ‘He doesn’t know that Mum likes him out of pity.’

‘Kind woman, she is,’ Sirius acknowledged.

‘Too kind,’ said James. ‘If she knew what you were really like, she never would have let you through the front door.’

‘Play nicely now, Prongs,’ said Sirius. ‘You might just hurt my feelings.’

‘I promise I won’t say another word about your hag of a mother, Padfoot,’ said James.

‘What’s with the “Prongs” and “Padfoot”?’ asked Emma, confused as the boys bantered around her.

‘That’s classified information,’ said James seriously, and Emma scoffed. ‘No, I mean it. If we told you, we’d have to string you up to these goal posts here –’

‘ – and have Snivellus eat peeled grapes and whipped cream from your body,’ finished Sirius.

James and Emma stared at Sirius. 

‘Snivellus?’ repeated Emma, revolted. ‘You think that lowly of me that you’d … Snivellus?’

‘Mate, that’s my sister you’re talking about,’ blanched James, wearing a similar look of disgust to Emma.

‘Hey, it got the point across, didn’t it?’ asked Sirius, grinning. He turned to Emma and waggled his eyebrows. ‘So, are you saying that you don’t want a bit of old Snivelly, then?’

‘Better bloody not,’ said James. ‘I’d break his arms if he ever touched her.’

‘The Muggle way,’ added Sirius. ‘Then, we’d strap him to a chair in front of the Whomping Willow.’

‘Do I get any say in this?’ asked Emma, handing out another round of drinks.

‘No,’ answered James firmly.

‘And cheers to that,’ said Sirius, opening another bottle.

&&&

‘Lily.’

‘Yanie.’

‘What are you doing right now?’

‘Right now?’ Lily repeats herself, ‘Right now I am finishing homework. Why, Yanie? What are you doing right now?’

‘Right now?’ Yanie parrots Lily. ‘Right now I am wondering why you’re doing homework on a Saturday afternoon.’

‘Because my life is a great excitement,’ says Lily. ‘There’s nothing I like to do more than lose myself in scrolls of parchment.’

‘How thrilling,’ observes Yanie with a yawn. ‘Why don’t you come downstairs for a Butterbeer with us? Much more fun, and there’s no parchment involved.’

‘Who is “us”?’ questions Lily.

‘Mandy, Sirius, Peter, James and me,’ answers Yanie. ‘I’m trying to find Anna and Remus as well.’

‘Thanks, but I’m on a roll. Maybe later.’

Yanie leaves Lily to her homework, and wonders what it is about the mediocre Lily Evans that captures his attention.

&&&

Professor Thornton stands before the class, demonstrating the correct way to perform the Impediment Jinx. Anna pens a tricky passage in her latest story, occasionally showing it to a privileged Remus for his opinion. Yanie tries not to giggle as she keeps Sirius’ hand off her leg. Mandy gives the Professor her full attention, trying to determine exactly how old he is – less than seven or eight years older than her, perhaps? Stella plays Tic-Tac-Toe with Peter on an old piece of parchment, and Emerson tries to catch Lily’s eye as she drills her quill into the wood of her desk.

James watches the class carry on around him, barely listening to the instructions that were issuing from Thornton’s mouth. He doesn’t care what the yob has to say. From what he gathers, Thornton was too busy trying to score brownie points with the faculty rather than teach his students something worthwhile. He already knew how to do the Impediment Jinx. He’s been able to do it since third year. They were coming up to OWLs, and all this idiot wants to do is revise spells that he’d been able to perform for years.

James reckoned that Thornton wouldn’t make it to the end of the year, and if he did, he wouldn’t come back. He’d return to his posh, paper-pushing job in the Ministry where he belonged.

‘It’s come to my attention that very few of you are able to perform the spells required for your OWLs,’ said Thornton.

Give the man a Butterbeer! What a genius! It’s only taken him all bloody year to figure that one out.

James could have told him in their very first lesson of the year what his classmates were capable of doing. At least he wouldn’t have wasted six months on mind numbing revision.

‘Now that you’ve seen me do it, I’ll call on you to step forward, one at a time, to do it again,’ Thornton said gravely. ‘Think of this as a mock duel. I’ll ask you to perform a curse, and then I’ll deflect it. I’ll also send a curse at you, and call on you to perform the counter-curse or block it. Everyone understand? Good. Let’s start.’

Maybe I should set up a Shield around me, James mused as Dakota Armytage walked to the front of the room. He tried not to smirk as she dropped her wand twice on the way.

A few seats over, Lily watched Dakota with sympathy. She understood how the girl was feeling – she wasn’t much different herself. She wondered if the professor was acting this way because he was embarrassed about how little his class knew.

‘Do you think this is a little … er, over the top?’ Lily whispered to Anna, who had finally put away her notebook.

‘I’d call it a waste of time,’ interjected James. ‘He’s not teaching us anything we don’t know.’

Lily looked at James; he looked extremely bored, or extremely unimpressed. Lily took in his casual slouch and the careless way in which he’d set up his desk. He clearly didn’t intend on learning anything, she reasoned. 

‘Clearly, he feels we need it. Not all of us can show off with our wands, you know.’

Lily faced the front of the room again, somewhat annoyed at James. She was fretting about how much of an idiot she was about to look like, and he was practically yawning! What if she got up there and couldn’t remember anything? What would happen then? Would Professor Thornton shake his head and say that he’d been wasting his time giving her advice on Advocacy?

‘True, not all of us can –‘ 

‘Sirius Black, your turn,’ called Thornton, as Dakota limped back to her desk, rubbing her swelled knee gingerly.

‘– but watch this, and tell me if you think we all have to go over third year spells,’ said James.

Yanie pushed Sirius away from her, giggling as he swaggered up to the professor. Lily bit her lip and looked to Anna, who was watching Sirius through narrowed eyes. 

He’s too confident, Lily thought. He’s about to duel a professor, and he’s still making eyes at Yanie! He’s going to be torn to pieces. 

Sirius remained well intact, though. He was almost lazy in his spell work, and he performed the spells that Professor Thornton barked at him with enviable ease. The class watched as the spells grew harder and more complex, but Sirius was still there, hardly even thinking about his responses. Lily turned around several times to see James watching with mild interest. He smirked at her once or twice, and swapped triumphant glances with Remus and Peter.

‘Very well done, Mr Black,’ said Thornton finally. ‘You may be seated.’

‘He doesn’t look very pleased, does he?’ Lily whispered to Anna, gesturing at Thornton.

‘Nope,’ Anna replied. 

Peggy Camus went next, and Lily started to feel her stomach twist in anticipation. She was next on the role.

‘Don’t be nervous, you’ll be fine,’ said Anna.

‘Look what he did to Sirius!’ 

‘Yeah, and he didn’t crack Sirius.’

‘I’m not as good as Sirius!’

‘You’ll do a better job than Peggy, anyway,’ said Anna, wincing as Peggy shrieked after being hit with a jinx. She turned an electric shade of blue.

‘I hope so,’ gulped Lily.

The professor waved his wand to remove the effects of the spell, and Peggy rushed back to her desk, now brilliantly red in the face. She stacked her books up in front of her and hid behind them. Lily had a sneaking suspicion that Peggy was crying.

‘Lily Evans,’ called Thornton.

Lily looked at the Hufflepuffs sitting over the aisle, and noticed that they were all glaring at the professor – she now rated Thornton as an outside chance to win Professor of the Year. 

‘Ah, Lily,’ smiled Thornton, ‘our resident Advocate.’

It was said warmly, and Lily blushed as she heard a smothered snicker from behind her. She glared at James before shakily standing.

Lily took one look at Anna before she turned to the professor and adopted the duelling stance. She remembered Snape telling her that she was a Mudblood and wasn’t smart enough for Hogwarts; she remembered her sister’s teasing; she remembered a first-year James telling the class that Muggleborns would always be on the back foot; and finally, she remembered taking her report cards home and proudly showing them to her family.

She clenched her jaw and performed the first spell, and the second and third spells, and every other spell that Professor Thornton yelled at her.

Afterwards, when Lily was sitting back at her desk, she turned around to look at James.

He was looking back at her – not quite smiling but grinning at her nonetheless. He looked a little surprised, she thought.

He tipped his imaginary hat to her, and she raised an eyebrow in response. She shook her head at him before turning to watch Stella. She may not have gotten every spell right, and her performance may not have been as showy as Sirius’, but that didn’t matter much to her. 

Not when she’d managed to wipe that arrogant smirk off James Potter’s damn arrogant face, anyway.

&&&

A million apologies to **rose_pagonias** – in my sleep deprived mind, ‘Lauren’ became ‘Linda’. Truly sorry – thank you for posting the last chapter ( _how embarrassing_ ).

But again, I must thank the lovely **Anokam** for putting up with the drivel I occasionally send. I’ve interrupted holidays to get this out, and for that I thank and salute you. Mwah!

_Satirise._


	5. Playing Endless Games

**\- Chapter Four: Playing Endless Games -**

_Having a backbone is admirable – but don’t forget your neck sticks out one end. W.G.P_

[The Living End, ‘I Can’t Give You Want I Haven’t Got’]

_How is it possible for one person to be so infuriating? Ok, I’ve been avoiding him, but what right does he have to do that? BLOODY NONE! He had NO RIGHT to do that!_

An infuriated Lily sat on her bed, writing a diary entry in Anna’s notebook. The page, only just wet with the navy blue ink, already had several rips where the quill had torn through the paper. Her hands shook and her vision was hazy. She tried to recall a saying her grandfather always said to her when she was fighting with Petunia – it had never failed to calm her down, or perhaps that was just the stash of butterscotch lollies he carried around in his pocket.

_Five weeks out from OWLs (which could possibly be LIFE CHANGING), and he informs me that exams are no excuse for our relationship to suffer. I know he’s under pressure as well – NEWTs are worse than OWLs, after all – but that’s no excuse to be so rude in front of everyone! I don’t think I’ve ever been so humiliated. Ok, that’s an exaggeration, but lord! It was so embarrassing the way he was talking!_

_Anna was right. I should have listened to her months ago when she warned me about him._

_But the worst part, aside from the whole school thinking that we’re having a lovers’ tiff, is that he then turned on me! HE got angry with ME because I was angry with HIM. And he never gets angry – at least, he never lets people see that he’s angry. It’s his self-preservation technique. Always keep an ace up your sleeve, and all that rot._

_Oh, we must have made for a spectacular sight, practically running out of the Great Hall so we could continue yelling out of earshot. But the stupid thing about it all is that I can’t even remember what I said! I can’t even remember how the stupid argument started! I know it was because I was avoiding him, but how it all came about is beyond me. I was having lunch with the girls when he just plonked himself down beside me and started talking as though I was on my own, and not already talking to other people._

_HELLO! WHO DOES THAT? WHO IS THAT BLOODY ARROGANT THAT THEY BARGE IN LIKE THEY OWN THE PLACE?!_

_I’ll tell you who. Fucking SALVADOR COLM!_

&&&

‘Calmed down yet?’ Anna asked later that night, sitting herself on the couch opposite Lily. She tossed her notebook onto the table between them.

‘Yes, thank you,’ Lily said in clipped tones. 

Truthfully, she was still smarting about her little spat with Salvador but she didn’t see the point in dragging it out further. Her feelings towards Salvador were something that only she could control, and right now she preferred to inwardly simmer over her resentment for the way their relationship had turned out. She had changed a great deal since they became friends almost a year ago – in many ways, she thought she was a lot more informed about the world and herself, and it changed the way that she looked at almost everything. She could no longer look at Salvador the same way she did when they first became friends.

During a Hogsmeade trip in her fourth year, Lily had become what Mandy called a ‘PMS bomb’. She was so frustrated with her friends and their incessant giggling and gossiping that she wasn’t able to hide her feelings. Salvador happened to be in The Three Broomsticks when Lily told Yanie not to make a fool of herself by flirting with every male in the village. It had taken Yanie three weeks to forgive Lily for what she had said, but in that time, Salvador and Lily had grown quite close. By upsetting Yanie, Lily had distanced herself from most of the girls in her dormitory and found that the easiest way to bear the loneliness was to be around Salvador.

At first, she had appreciated his company. He didn’t ignore the ominous newspaper articles; he didn’t change the subject every time something serious was brought up and, most thankfully, he didn’t talk to her as though she was insignificant. He appreciated her opinions even if he didn’t agree with them, and while he tried to persuade her to see his side of the story, he didn’t dominant her.

That had slowly changed. The equality in their relationship diminished to the point where Salvador was in control of nearly all situations. For fear of upsetting a friend who was, she knew, far more knowledgeable, she had kept her reservations to herself. She now knew that this was a mistake and she should have taken action long before now. If she had, maybe she wouldn’t have a friend who she resented. He had once made her feel unstoppable. Now he made her feel like an insolent child, but she guessed she deserved this. 

‘Hello? Lily?’ Lily blinked. Anna was waving her hand in front of Lily’s face, trying to grab her attention. ‘I swear you haven’t heard a word I said.’

‘Sorry,’ Lily mumbled a little sheepishly. She offered by way of explanation, ‘Away with the fairies.’

‘I wouldn’t have guessed,’ Anna replied dryly.

Lily shrugged and put the Astronomy model she was working on aside. ‘So where have you been? I didn’t see you leave dinner.’

‘I was with Nate,’ said Anna. ‘We went for a walk and talked about a few things.’

‘Sorted it out, then?’ said Lily, remembering the teary conversation they’d shared a few days ago.

‘Sort of,’ replied Anna. ‘We’re still together, anyway.’

‘You sound thrilled.’

‘I am,’ said Anna, never changing her tone. ‘I don’t want to break up with him.’

‘But …’

‘I don’t think we’re going to be together for much longer,’ sighed Anna.

‘Then why are you still together? If it’s going to end, why not end it now?’

Anna shrugged. She looked defeated. ‘Because I don’t want it to end before it has to.’

Lily was confused by this, but she didn’t say anything. For all the drama that Anna seemed to be having in her love life lately, Lily was at the other end of the spectrum. She refused to entertain the idea of a romantic relationship with Salvador, and the thought of fooling around with any of his friends didn’t much tempt her any more. She preferred to be the one asking seemingly cold questions, instead of the one up in arms about her boyfriend and their relationship. It made her feel liberated, as though she was being her own person. She didn’t have to think about someone else, or consult with them before committing to plans. She figured that if something went wrong, or if she was hurt, then it was on her own doing and not at the hands of someone else. And that was empowering.

Lily looked around the common room and took in her classmates. Sirius and Remus were playing checkers and Peter was chatting with Stella. Mandy and Yanie were speaking in hushed tones by the fireplace. Nate and Emerson were making their way out through the portrait hole, and Salvador was lording over a group of second years. The noticeable exception to company was James Potter, and while Lily wasn’t complaining that he wasn’t there to disturb the peace, she couldn’t help but question what he was doing. She’d been suspicious of him since that Defence Against the Dark Arts class, when he’d come across so haughty and pretentious. She’d always thought she’d liked James, until then. He was, for the most part, a smart and humorous person. She’d respected him for that, although she didn’t really know why. 

She’d thought of him as a larger than life character. She just didn’t know that he thought of himself that way, too.

&&&

‘Anyone would think this bird’s life revolved around Runes,’ muttered James, stretching out in his chair. His book was still closed and he hadn’t loaded his quill. He had no intention of working in this lesson.

‘Maybe it does,’ said Remus, watching Professor Rasink scribble on the blackboard with one hand and hold a pipe cigarette in the other. ‘Not everyone lives with excitement like you do.’

‘They should,’ said James, ‘and maybe they wouldn’t all be so uptight.’

Remus heard a scoff from a nearby desk and watched as Lily’s shoulders squared – he could see her whole body turn rigid at James’ words. He’d noticed that she’d been doing this a fair bit lately. Whenever James opened his mouth (which was, admittedly, often), Lily looked to be restraining herself from throwing heavy objects at his head. The thought rather amused Remus.

‘Pigeons!’ cried Professor Rasink, now finished with the blackboard. She waved her hand to grab the class’ attention, and coughed moments later in the wake of the cigarette smoke. ‘Please pay attention!’ she spluttered.

Remus watched as James grumbled in his seat and leant forward, resting his chin on his hands. James was always bored in this class. Sirius had opted for Divination – Remus supposed this was because ninety percent of that class was of the female gender (he still didn’t understand why James hadn’t taken that class, too), and Peter chose Muggle Studies (again, another subject choice that Remus was yet to fathom). So that left only Remus and his boring Runes, not that Remus minded that James was bored. It wasn’t his problem to deal with. 

Professor Rasink started to explain her translation, pointing to the arrows that were meant to indicate sections and passages of the Rune. Lily was tilting her head to the side, trying to follow the haphazard lines.

_Someone really ought to give her a pair of glasses_ , Lily mused as she tilted her head to the other side. She still couldn’t make head or tails of what the woman was on about. Now that Anna had changed from Runes to Muggle Studies, Lily had more trouble than usual deciphering the foreign language of Rasink. Thinking it a futile exercise, Lily opened her textbook and started to translate the Runes as best she could. 

‘You can’t get it, either?’ Darius Foxley-Penkliss whispered from beside her.

Darius was Mandy’s boyfriend from Ravenclaw. They often sat beside each other now, seeing as most of their friends had chosen different subjects. Looking back, Lily wondered why she’d decided Ancient Runes would have been a fascinating subject to study. She cursed her gullible twelve-year-old self.

‘Gibberish to me,’ replied Lily. She started to explain why she thought they ought to translate the middle section first when Professor Rasink swooped over them.

‘Oh, _pigeons!_ What _have_ you done?’ she positively wailed, bringing with her the pungent smell of potpourri and tobacco. 

Lily tried to breathe through her mouth as took a quick sidelong glance at Darius. She was glad to see that he was almost as embarrassed as she was.

‘Didn’t you follow my instructions? Were they not clear enough for you?’ the professor continued to wail, the smell of her almost suffocating Lily.

Lily heard stifled laughter from behind her and felt her blood pressure rise. _James Potter_ , again! She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from firing at the professor. Potter, though, was open game as far as she was concerned.

‘Are you _quite_ right?’ she hissed at him. She tried to inject as much venom into her voice as she could, but she feared that the stress on her vocal cords from Rasink’s stench made her come across more like a petulant child.

‘Oh shoot, Miss Camus and Mr Stafford have done the same thing! Oh, my dear pigeons, _please_ – you _must_ focus!’ cried a frenzied Rasink. ‘Many a warlock has lost more than his dinner’s worth over a poor translation, you know!’

Lily couldn’t remember having been so embarrassed in a class. She was thankful that Darius was there to help her save face as he asked the professor to explain her instructions more clearly. She would have to congratulate Mandy later on having such a sensible boyfriend.

Why had she taken this ridiculous class? The professor was absurd! She waltzed around, trilling out sporadic comments about cactus plants and kittens’ paws, and how simply _glorious_ it was to have one’s own rose garden. She often conducted her classes with a lit pipe in her mouth, and spent her spare time stocking up the potpourri canisters that hid in every nook and cranny in the room. Worse still, she addressed her students as ‘pigeons’. It wasn’t just one or two of them – it was everyone! Lily had wondered at first if this was because she couldn’t remember everyone’s names, but she now knew it was because she was a strange lady with no one for companionship other than her pet budgerigar.

Fuming, Lily tried to recall why she hadn’t changed to Divination or Muggle Studies. Surely there had to be a reason why she chose a subject that required extensive homework and brain power (not to mention willpower) over two of the easiest subjects on offer?

Professor Rasink turned back to the board, and started to explain her translation again. ‘The arrows illustrate the intricate relationship of the Rune. They show the delicate balance between the word of the Rune and its language.’

Lily and Darius exchanged confused looks, but said nothing as they scribbled down notes. And all the while, Lily had to resist the urge of turning around and jinxing James Potter, who continued to chuckle long after the bell had rang at the end of class.

&&&

‘I’m concerned about one of my students, Albus.’

‘Indeed? What seems to be the problem?’

‘Nothing as such – he just seems to be acting out of character. One day he’s participating in class, the next … it’s like you can’t get a straight answer out of him! It’s more than a little frustrating, let me assure you.’

‘Who is the student in question, may I ask?’

‘Peter Pettigrew.’

‘Young Mr Pettigrew …’ Albus Dumbledore mused, twirling the end of his beard in his nimble fingers.

‘Ever since Christmas,’ continued Professor McGonagall, ‘he’s been agitated. It’s almost as if there are two sides to him!’

‘What do you think is the problem?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, it could be anything!’ said McGonagall, throwing her hands in the air helplessly. ‘I don’t think he’s under any sort of spell, but this could get out of hand if it’s not taken care of right now.’

‘What about his friends? Are they acting unusually as well?’

‘Occasionally, but I’ve put that down to Mr Lupin,’ said McGonagall. ‘It’s only natural that his moods will affect his friends as well.’

‘But you suspect something else is troubling Mr Pettigrew?’ 

‘I do,’ nodded McGonagall. ‘I don’t mean to speak ill of the boy, but he’s just not … he’s not –‘

‘Right?’ offered Dumbledore.

‘Yes! Something isn’t right about him, and between him and his friends, I’m nearing the end of my wits!’

‘Calm yourself, Minerva. Getting excited won’t help anyone,’ said Dumbledore quietly. ‘But you were right in coming to me. Keep an eye on Mr Pettigrew, and let me know if his behaviour starts to affect his schoolwork.’

‘As you wish,’ said McGonagall, rising from her seat.

‘Best to keep an eye on his friends, too,’ said Dumbledore, placing the tip of his wand to his temple and extracting a long, silver strand. He looked at it with interest before placing it into his Pensieve. ‘I have an idea of what may be the matter with young Peter, but I’m afraid that only time will tell.’ 

&&&

The light and fluffy clouds rolling over the roof of the Great Hall did nothing to better Lily’s mood. For some reason, she had woken up exceptionally grumpy. She didn’t know why – nothing untoward had happened before she went to bed, and she couldn’t remember anything that she was meant to do today that would make her cross. She was just grumpy.

Lily sat at the breakfast table, miserably chewing away at a muffin. She picked up her butter knife and jabbed it into the butter dish in front of her.

‘Someone’s in a good mood this morning,’ said Sirius, sitting down beside Yanie. He watched Lily pick up the knife and repeat the process.

‘She’s grumpy,’ said Yanie, handing Sirius a muffin. Sirius frowned and shook his head. ‘Don’t worry it’s blueberry, not boysenberry. You can eat it without dying.’

As Sirius took the muffin and thanked Yanie with a kiss on the cheek, Lily glowered. Any other day, she would have thought the gesture to be sweet, especially coming from Sirius Black. But today, she was nothing short of revolted. ‘Oh please, some people are trying to eat.’

‘You really are a grumpy little shit today, aren’t you,’ Sirius commented.

‘And you’re awfully perceptive today,’ Lily retorted, still trying to murder the butter.

‘You should be a glow worm,’ said Sirius.

Lily stopped stabbing the butter long enough to shoot a withering glance at Sirius. ‘What?’

‘That way, you could sing, _“I wish I was a glow worm, a glow worm’s never glum; ‘cos how can you be grumpy, when the sun shines out your bum?”_ and it’d make you, and everyone around you, feel a lot better,’ said Sirius, waving his muffin through the air as he sang. Yanie laughed behind her hand, and a first year girl beside them giggled into her porridge.

Sirius grinned at the first year and winked. ‘See, she got the joke. Cheer up.’

‘Cover your ears,’ Lily instructed the first year, who promptly covered her ears with her hands. Lily turned back to Sirius. ‘You have to be one of the most arrogant arseholes I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. Take your dim-witted jingles and politely bugger off.’

‘Lily!’ gasped Yanie. ‘What’s he done to you to deserve that?’

‘Oh, nothing much,’ Lily said, glowering. ‘He just _exists_. That alone is enough cause for justification.’

Sirius shook his head and smirked. ‘Well bugger me with a broom stick, she’s grown fangs,’ he chuckled. ‘Put your claws away before you hurt yourself.’

‘On the contrary,’ said a curt voice from behind them. ‘If she doesn’t put her claws away, you’ll be the one to get hurt.’

Sirius scoffed and Lily simmered as Salvador stood over them, looking on disdainfully. 

‘Although it is nice to know that I’m not the only one to receive your attitude,’ Salvador said as an afterthought.

‘Is there something you wanted?’ Lily asked tightly.

‘As a matter of fact, there is,’ said Salvador. Lily heard the steely edge creep into his voice and cringed before remembering that she was still trying to avoid him. ‘I need a word. In private.’

Lily sighed and stood. ‘Fine,’ she said. ‘Yanie, if Anna comes down before I get back, can you please let her know that I’ve gone to class.’ She turned back to Salvador. ‘Let’s make this quick, shall we?’

Salvador steered them into the first empty classroom on the ground floor, checking over his shoulder as they went. Lily rolled her eyes at Salvador while he wasn’t looking – it was so typical of him to make a mountain out of a molehill. He didn’t have to ask for a _private_ word, just to speak to her would have been sufficient. Instead, he had to make a grand gesture out of speaking to her. She hated to think what Sirius must have been saying about her right now, although she was glad that it was only Sirius and not James at the table. Listening to his snide and bigoted comments in class left little to Lily’s imagination – he’d have her head on a platter if given half the chance. 

Lily walked into the room and dropped her bag on the nearest table. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked shortly.

‘Alone at last,’ Salvador said quietly.

Lily rolled her eyes and perched herself atop the table. ‘What did you want to talk about? You’ll have to make it quick. Classes start soon.’

‘I’m aware, thank you,’ said Salvador, eyeing her carefully. He paced back and forth in front of the blackboard, not speaking and not looking at Lily. ‘What’s happened to us?’ he finally said. ‘We used to be able to talk and have a good joke.’

Lily immediately felt like a fly trapped on a spider’s web. She sighed, if only because she thought she was being overly dramatic at the comparison. Salvador wasn’t a tarantula, and she was definitely not a meek little fly. 

She should just tell him and not prolong this awkward and embarrassing situation. He would understand. That’s if he felt that way at all, she reasoned. She may have just read too much into his actions. She didn’t think she had, but she’d been wrong about these sorts of things before. Relationships weren’t exactly her forte, and Merlin knew that she wasn’t the best judge of character.

‘Don’t look so scared of me,’ snapped Salvador, breaking through Lily’s thoughts. ‘We’re best friends. Stop being ridiculous.’

_That’s it! Fire up! Get angry with me – I know how to deal with you that way!_

‘I’m being ridiculous, am I?’ Lily challenged, latching on to his anger and matching it.

‘What else would you call your behaviour? You’ve been avoiding me for fuck’s sake!’

He was swearing, and Lily was thrilled. He was definitely angry now.

‘I can’t be avoiding you if I’m still talking to you!’

‘You _aren’t_ talking to me, that’s the point! You’re pushing me away! What’s going on with you?’

‘You wouldn’t understand,’ said Lily tightly.

‘I’m trying to understand, I really am,’ said Salvador. ‘It’s just a little hard when you won’t let me in.’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘I do.’

‘Tough.’

‘Don’t keep on shutting me out. You always do it and I’m sick of it. Haven’t I proven myself to you yet?’

‘It’s not about proving yourself!’ shouted Lily. ‘You don’t have to prove anything to me!’

‘I obviously do if you can’t even talk to me!’

‘There’s nothing to talk about!’

‘The hell there isn’t!’

‘This isn’t some stupid game of yours, Salvador. I don’t want to talk about it so just DROP IT!’

‘Look, you know I love you, you’re my best friend, but something’s going on with you and I want you to tell me. Is it something that I’ve done? Is it someone else? Is it both? Just tell me!’

Lily didn’t answer. She looked at her feet, refusing to meet his eye. How could she possibly tell him that she was avoiding him because she didn’t want him to fall in love with her? How could she tell him that she’s blowing the whole thing out of proportion, mainly because she was afraid of him and couldn’t handle her temper? She couldn’t do that. He’d answer that there was a difference between being in love, and loving someone. He’d tell her that she’d always had a rotten temper, and he’d ask why she feared him when he’d never given her reason to before. 

He was right to ask if someone else had been getting the better of her, though. As soon as he’d said it, she’d thought about James Potter. A picture of him formed clearly in her mind, and she thought about how annoyed she’d been with him lately. She wondered if she was angrier than she ought to be with Salvador because she couldn’t take her grievances out on Potter.

Lily couldn’t answer him, not now that she’d figured out that she wasn’t angry with him, but with herself.

Salvador watched as the fight left Lily, and went to her side. He wasn’t going to touch her; he’d felt her cringe the last time he’d hugged her. He wasn’t going to lie and say that didn’t shock and hurt him, especially given the progress that they’d made in their relationship. He just couldn’t get through to her, though. He’d make inroads, but she’d never let him in, not entirely. She did trust him, he knew that, but he also knew that she hadn’t banked on this friendship as much as he had. He’d seen that she was different to her friends, and he’d wanted her to realise that, too. It was just taking more work on his part than he’d originally intended.

‘I’m sorry,’ he heard her say quietly. ‘It’s not your fault, I’m just … I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sorry.’

She picked up her bag and Salvador let her leave, glad that he’d finally been able to get something from her. 

‘If you change your mind and want to talk, my door is always open for you,’ Salvador said. 

Lily nodded, her hand on the doorknob. ‘Thanks,’ she said quietly, not trusting her voice.

As the door closed, Salvador sank into the nearest chair and rubbed his temples. She’d purposely picked a fight with him just then. He seen it plain as day – she didn’t know how to respond to him, so she took it back to familiar ground. 

Nothing had changed, he realised. She was still the same. She would come back to him, he was sure of it. He just needed to find out why she was fighting not to let him back in.

‘Any time, my lady,’ he said so softly the portraits wondered if he’d spoken at all. ‘Any time.’

&&&

She was precious.

He hadn’t known that at the start, but he knew it now. 

Before she was just Stella Gatewood, one of the girls in his year, and she was just like the rest of them. She wore her hair low on her neck and her skirt high on her thigh; she batted her eyes to capture a boy’s attention, and then used those eyes to bring him crashing down. 

Watching over Stella was almost a twenty-four hour job, Peter reckoned. She just didn’t know the danger she was in sometimes. She may not have been innocent, but she thought others to be so. At least she did until she knew they weren’t. It was one of her quirks – she was no angel, but she couldn’t believe that others had darkness to them. Even in him, she couldn’t see his dark. In him, she only saw the shy but supportive boy she had come to know; she couldn’t believe he would ever hurt someone.

She couldn’t believe that someone would hurt her, and that was why he had to protect her. That was why he had to make sure that she was safe all the time, because she simply couldn’t believe someone would deliberately hurt another person. That was why she didn’t read the stories about You-Know-Who, and that was why she didn’t take any notice of the Ministry security procedures in _The Daily Prophet_. Even with the Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry at it most fierce, she still didn’t think she needed to be careful walking through the dungeons.

It made her naïve, but he liked that about her. It made her different to her friends, the ones who skipped around the school with their arms linked, giggling away like a flock of drunken parrots. He liked that she wasn’t as cold as Mandy, or as untrusting as Lily. She wasn’t like Yanie, either – she didn’t giggle and blush every time a boy spoke to her. And she would always speak to him, unlike Anna, who rarely even looked at him. No, she always had time for him. Not _always_ for others – he noticed this distressed James for all of about three hours in their fourth year – but always for him.

He didn’t know what she saw in him. He wasn’t as charming or as suave as half the boys in Hogwarts, yet she still sat by him in the common room at night, and she still saved him a seat at breakfast.

Love wasn’t a part of their relationship. Love didn’t factor into his feelings for her, he was sure of that. But he’d be damned if anything ever happened to her. She was precious, and he had to make sure that she stayed that way.

&&&

A/N: An update! Hurrah, things are starting to happen! Thank you to **anokam** who continues to whip me into shape, and to **rose_pagonias** who does much the same and posts my stories for me. Schmank you!

Satirise 


	6. Vanity Fair

**\- Chapter Five: Vanity Fair -**

_Moral indignation – jealousy with a halo._

_H.G. WELLS_

_[Carly Simon, ‘You’re So Vain’]_

&&&

‘Can we talk?’

‘Aren’t we doing that now?’

‘I mean … talk _seriously_ ,’ he said, leading her over to the corner of the room.

‘What’s going on?’

He looked around shiftily, suddenly uncomfortable with her being so close. ‘I think we should take a break … you know … from seeing each other.’

She didn’t know what to say. He wanted to take a break and she was … _what?_

‘You want to take a break?’ she repeated.

‘Yeah,’ he said, looking at the ground. ‘It’s not because I don’t want to be with you, because I do, it’s just … it was going to happen anyway, right?’

She couldn’t understand it – they’d only just spoken about this last week. She thought they’d figured everything out. _Nine months_. They’d been together for nine months, and now he wanted a break. She just couldn’t understand it, until she noticed a tall figure leave the common room. He threw a backwards glance over his shoulder but he didn’t stop. 

Her mouth twisted into a scowl and she cursed herself for her stupidity. ‘Let me save you the trouble, Nate. It’s over. No break, no “time-out” – no nothing, ok? You’re right; it was bound to happen eventually. Run along now. Salvador will probably be waiting for you outside.’

Anna didn’t look back as she ran up to the dormitory, where she found Lily and cried until her throat felt like a clawing post for an angry cat. She slept on the end of Lily’s bed that night, holding tightly to her notebook in one hand, and Lily’s hand in the other.

&&&

The grass was brilliantly green, the air was pleasantly balmy and the sun had finally broken through the early morning fogs. April had come to Hogwarts in all its spring glory and its effects could be seen on more than one face. 

People seemed to be in better spirits these days. Even the usually brusque Professor McGonagall could be seen with a small smile on her face in the corridors. James didn’t particularly care to know why his teacher was in such high spirits, but if it made classes more bearable, he was all for it. He did notice, however, that there was at least one person who didn’t seem to be so cheery.

Lily Evans.

He’d be damned if he could figure her out; he’d decided she was one crazy bird. One minute, she was chatting away perfectly fine with her friends, and then she’d just clam up and wouldn’t say anything. He’d try to get her to talk again, but she’d either ignore him or talk to someone else. He thought back over the last couple of days to see if there was something he’d done to annoy her, but he couldn’t think of anything. He’d offered to help her lift a bag of dragon manure in Herbology, and she didn’t look very impressed then, but he figured that no one would really be pleased to be elbow-deep in dragon dung.

Maybe she didn’t like people helping her – that could be it, he reasoned.

_Surely, she’d be over it by now._

James asked the boys if they knew what was going on with Lily, but none of them thought anything was odd about her. Sirius, however, did mention that Lily and Yanie hadn’t really been talking since Lily had told Sirius to bugger off at breakfast a fortnight ago.

‘What’d she do that for?’ Remus asked. 

‘She was just in a bad mood, and I may or may not have provoked her,’ shrugged Sirius. ‘No big deal. She was ropable when Colm dragged her away, though.’

‘She’s got a bit of a temper, but usually she’s not that bad,’ said Remus.

‘Stella said she’s been on edge a bit lately,’ said Peter, ‘but that’s probably just because of OWLs, and she’s doing extra lessons and stuff.’

‘Extra lessons?’ repeated James. ‘For which subjects?’

‘Transfiguration,’ answered Peter. ‘We do our lessons together. We sort of help each other out, actually. I give her a few pointers with Transfiguration and she helps me with Potions. She’s really good at it.’

‘ _You_ give _Lily_ tips on Transfiguration?’ asked Sirius, his face similar to a stunned mullet. 

‘He’s helped me out a fair bit, I’ll have you know,’ said Lily, who had just come up behind the boys in the corridor. ‘Now, hurry up and get into the classroom before I take points away for loitering.’

‘You can’t take points for that!’ protested James.

‘For you, Potter, I’d find any excuse. Now, move!’

James obliged, and stepped aside for Lily. He noticed, however, that she blushed right to her ginger roots as she passed Peter, who blushed also and shrugged apologetically. ‘Sorry Lily, didn’t mean to say anything,’ said Peter.

‘It’s fine,’ said Lily. ‘I’ll see you again tonight? Same time?’

Peter nodded and followed Lily into the classroom, Remus in tow. James shared a bemused glance with Sirius and closed the classroom door behind him.

You think you know a guy, he thought.

&&&

_We think that you should stay at school for Easter now. There’s nothing any of us can do now. They’ve tried to help, but even they don’t know what to do. All that’s left to do is keep him comfortable, and let him know that we all love him. He knows how you feel, we read him every letter. Just stay there and PLEASE stay safe and keep out of trouble._

_I love you, we all do_

_Mum._

&&&

‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’

Silence.

‘Hmm, so.’

‘So.’

‘Are you being a parrot on purpose or do you just have nothing to say to me?’ Salvador asked Lily, sitting beside her in the Great Hall. It had been almost three weeks since Salvador had interrogated her in the empty classroom, and she had made no effort to seek him out. Now, though, she couldn’t see the point in ignoring him any longer, and made room for him beside her.

‘Bit of both, probably,’ Lily answered, wiping the toast crumbs off her fingers. ‘That and I know you have a weird obsession with birds.’

‘Of both varieties,’ Salvador winked.

Lily smirked. ‘Some birds are better left alone.’

‘Aye, agreed.’

‘So what are you up to today?’ Lily asked, pushing the plate of toast towards Salvador. ‘Here, eat. You look like death.’

‘Well, thank you. I guess you wouldn’t look so crash hot either if you’d spent all night patrolling and walking in on all sorts of shit.’

‘Why would you do something stupid like that?’ Lily asked, spreading marmalade on Salvador’s toast. Usually, she wasn’t this helpful about her friends’ breakfast, but while Salvador was moaning about randy teenagers meeting up all over the castle, he didn’t want to analyse their friendship or their latest argument. It wasn’t so hard to pretend that nothing had happened at all.

‘Your perception on people changes when you walk in on them ready to maul each other, I tell you.’

‘Poor darling.’

‘Shut it, you wouldn’t be so jolly if you’d seen one of your mates in full flight with one of my mates.’

‘Maybe I will, I’ve got rounds tonight,’ said Lily, remembering her and Remus had to patrol two floors of the eastern wing, which was near the Astronomy Tower. ‘Oh, was it Anna and Nate? Please tell me it was them, they still want each other. Not that I’d like to imagine them doing … that … but they’re driving me bloody nuts.’

‘Tell me about it, Nate’s being a right miserable bastard. But no, it wasn’t them.’

‘Oh God, what is Mandy up to now?’ Lily groaned, soon forgetting her disappointment for Anna. ‘I swear that girl can’t control herself. She’s only just broken up with Darius and here she is shacking up with someone else. Was it Waylon? I saw them the other night –’

‘It wasn’t Mandy,’ said Salvador. ‘It was Stella, actually.’

‘ _Really?_ Who was she with?’ Lily asked curiously.

‘Yes, really,’ said Salvador, swallowing as though he had the dirtiest taste in his mouth and he couldn’t get rid of it. ‘And it was with Iain.’ 

‘Well, that’s not so bad; Iain’s an alright kind of guy. It’d be worse if she’d been with Waylon. That’d be a recipe for disaster.’

‘What’s wrong with Waylon?’ Salvador asked. ‘You didn’t seem to mind him a little while ago.’

‘That was before, and that was different,’ said Lily, waving her hand in front of her. ‘We never really liked each other; it was just something to do. Stella only goes out with guys if she likes them, and Waylon would only end up hurting her because he’s a typical male.’

‘Aye, that he is,’ Salvador agreed.

‘So are you going to try to break them up or is that a specialty reserved for Nate?’

‘Ouch, that one hurt. Struck me, you did, right here.’ He put his hand over his heart and frowned pathetically.

‘Shut up and answer the question.’

‘I won’t do anything.’

‘Good.’

‘Good.’

‘Now who’s the parrot?’

‘I’d prefer it if you called me agreeable, not a colourful pigeon.’

‘So help me if you bring pigeons into this –’

‘Leave Professor Rasink alone. It’s not her fault she’s obsessed with the dirty little beasts.’

‘Of course not, but given your close affiliation with that species I would’ve thought –’

Salvador chose at that moment to cover Lily’s mouth with his hand. ‘Don’t you finish that, ok? Just eat your toast and be a good girl.’

Lily nodded in to Salvador’s hand, smiling underneath his fingers. They weren’t going to mention what had happened, they were just going to sit down and enjoy their breakfast together and talk about things less crucial. This thought made Lily smile even more, and play along with Salvador as he began stirring the sugar in his coffee, his hand still covering her mouth.

But if she’d thought what Salvador did at that moment, or felt what Salvador did, maybe she wouldn’t have been so agreeable. 

&&&

‘Hopefully I won’t be gone all night,’ said Lily.

‘I’ll probably be asleep by the time you get back,’ replied Anna. ‘I’m dead tired.’

Lily looked concerned. ‘What have you been up to?’

‘Nothing much, I’m probably coming down with something. I’ve got a bit of a headache,’ she answered, lying back on her bed.

‘Ok, well if you aren’t feeling better in the morning you’re going to Madam Pomfrey,’ Lily ordered.

‘Are you going to take me, Mum?’ Anna replied sarcastically.

‘Don’t be stupid, I don’t want to get what you have,’ Lily laughed.

‘Go on your rounds,’ Anna muttered, closing her eyes. ‘Some best friend you are.’

‘See you later.’

‘See you,’ Anna mumbled, already snuggling into her pillow.

Lily met Remus in the common room and they left, starting their patrol. They didn’t really talk for the first ten minutes – Remus appeared to have something on his mind and Lily was worried about Anna and how she was dealing with her break up from Nate. Conversation picked up, though, when they reached the eastern corridors and couldn’t remember which floors they had to patrol.

‘Was it the fourth and fifth floors we were doing, or the fifth and sixth?’ Remus asked.

‘Er, I thought it was sixth and seventh,’ Lily replied. 

‘Brilliant,’ Remus muttered. ‘The Astronomy Tower.’

‘Yeah, kind of sucks a bit, doesn’t it?’ Lily added vaguely, her mind still wandering around somewhere in their dormitory.

Remus let out a snort of laughter. ‘Do you realise what you just said?’

Lily stared blankly at Remus, then she realised what he meant and clapped her hand over her mouth. ‘That wasn’t intentional.’

‘I’m sure,’ Remus winked, and they continued to walk along the corridor, the conversation now comfortable and not stilted as it had been. Lily recalled her conversation with Salvador, and so brought up the possibilities of running into their classmates in passionate embraces. Remus said he hoped they wouldn’t run into Sirius, Peter or James in any dark corners.

‘Do you expect us to?’ Lily asked, curious.

‘Not particularly, but it still wouldn’t be a pleasant sight,’ Remus replied.

‘Not particularly, no. The thought’s disturbing enough as it is.’

‘Are you implying there’s something wrong with my mates?’ 

‘Of course not, I’m just saying I don’t want to see Potter corrupting some innocent girl in a stairwell.’

‘You wouldn’t find James in a stairwell.’

‘Oh?’

‘Not one for public places.’

‘And you know this how?’ teased Lily.

‘Are you telling me that you don’t know that about your friends?’ returned Remus.

‘Ok, so I know, but I’m a girl. Girls talk.’

‘So do guys.’

‘Apparently.’

‘What I find interesting, though, is that you don’t want to run into James. Why not Sirius? I hear he’s a favourite of yours as well. Any reason you picked James out especially?’

‘I haven’t.’

‘So you haven’t been particularly annoyed by him this last month or so, and I’ve only been imagining the number of times you’ve snapped at him?’

‘That’s right – you’ve imagined it.’ Remus scoffed, which prompted Lily to continue. ‘Potter’s an arsehole. He thinks he’s better than everyone else. He’s arrogant and full of himself, and I don’t like how he treats others. He’s a pig.’

‘James can be many things, but he’s not an arsehole.’

‘I think he is,’ said Lily stubbornly.

‘You don’t know him,’ said Remus.

‘I don’t want to know him. And given what I know about you, I’m surprised you’d want to be friends with him.’

‘Like I said, you don’t know him like I do,’ said Remus. ‘He’s one of my best mates. You’ll never convince me that he’s a bad person.’

‘I’m not trying to convince you of anything. I’m just saying I don’t want to know anything about him. He’s an arsehole and I’m sticking by that.’

‘Life’s full of arseholes, Lily. You may as well go through it with the ones you know.’

‘Then you’re surrounded by them. Peter’s the only decent one of your mates, I think.’

They started to climb the stairs, and they stopped talking. When they reached the top and found, quite thankfully, that no one was up there, they took to looking at the night sky through the school’s telescopes.

Remus was quiet for a while, turning the knobs of the telescope before him. ‘I didn’t take you to be a snob, you know.’

‘I’m not a snob!’ Lily protested at once.

‘You sound like one. You’re judging people who, by your own admission, you don’t know.’

‘I know enough about Potter and Black to know that they’re two peas in a pod. And I know Peter – we talk during our tutoring sessions.’

‘Fair enough, you know a bit about Peter, but you’re wrong about James and Sirius. In many ways they’re the same, but when you get to know them, you realise they’re different.’

‘Convince me.’

‘I don’t have to convince you of anything, Lily.’

‘I know you don’t, but you just seemed so convinced yourself.’

‘Well, how would you react if someone who knew virtually nothing about Anna came up to you and called her a slag?’

Lily narrowed her eyes at Remus and scowled – he’d won that round. ‘Ok, point taken.’

‘James and Sirius are similar, not the same,’ said Remus, spinning the telescope around so it pointed due north. ‘If they want the same thing, they’ll go about it differently.’

Lily sat on the tower ledge and faced Remus. She didn’t know what to say to Remus now. Before, she was able to brush away his defences of his friends, but she now realised how flawed her argument was. And Remus was right – she wouldn’t react well if someone spoke about Anna the same way she was speaking about James.

‘I don’t know, they both seem as though they have to always be on top,’ Lily finally said, looking over the castle grounds. It was a new moon, and the light from Hagrid’s hut shone brightly against the darkness.

‘They like to do things properly. If it’s not done that way, it’s not worth doing at all,’ said Remus. 

Lily made a non-committal sound in her throat. She couldn’t fault them for that – she was the same.

‘It’s ok to admit you’re wrong,’ said Remus, looking up at Lily.

‘I already have,’ said Lily, walking towards the stairwell that would take them back to the main castle. ‘I just won’t admit that to his face.’

‘I’m not surprised,’ said Remus, giving a smile that was halfway between a smirk and a grin.

‘I still think he’s full of himself, though,’ said Lily stubbornly.

‘He’s different than that, I’m telling you. That’s more a Sirius-thing than a James-thing.’

‘Sirius is more likely to start a Thanksgiving parade in his own honour than James is?’

‘Well, no,’ frowned Remus, ‘but you have to realise that they only show off because they know they can.’

‘I know I’m one of the best Charms students in this school, but I don’t flash my wand about showing people what I can do.’

‘”One of the best Charms students in the school”?’ repeated Remus. ‘Weren’t you just saying that you don’t blow your own trumpet?’

‘I’m now the vice president of the Charms Club after joining not even a month ago. I can brag about that.’

‘But James can’t brag about having the best Quidditch record for three hundred years, and Sirius can’t boast about scoring the second highest average in Hogwarts’ history for Transfiguration, second behind only Dumbledore?’ Remus raised his eyebrows meaningfully, showing that once again, Lily had underestimated her opposition.

‘You know what,’ said Lily, her eyes once again narrowed, ‘I’m going to go back to the common room. I’m going to forget those fascinating pieces of trivia you’ve just given me, and I’m going to go think about every mean and cruel thing those two have done. And in the morning, I’m going to go to the library to check those facts.’

‘Check, by all means,’ smiled Remus. ‘I’ll even give you page references if you wish.’

‘Thank you, but that won’t be necessary,’ said Lily, grimacing as she returned Remus’ smile. ‘Good night, Remus.’

Back in her dormitory, Lily asked a feverish Anna if she knew that Sirius had the second highest Transfiguration score in Hogwarts’ history.

‘He’s also got the sixth highest Defence Against the Dark Arts average,’ chirped Yanie from her bed. ‘James has the third. I overheard Professor McGonagall say that they’re going to be the some of the best Aurors the Ministry’s ever seen.’

‘And I bet they’ll make the first magic carpet to fly around the universe while they’re at it,’ Lily said bitterly, punching her pillow.

&&&


End file.
